A wedding officiant shapes the tone, story and flow of your ceremony, and understanding their process helps couples start the day with clarity and confidence.
(Photo courtesy of Studio 27 Photography)
A wedding ceremony may last only a short time, but the work that goes into creating it is anything but small. Professional wedding officiants spend hours getting to know couples, learning their story and crafting words that feel personal, intentional and true to who they are. They also manage cues, timing, nerves and legal responsibilities — all before the reception even begins.
To help couples understand what really happens behind the scenes, we spoke with Joe Iadanza, of BOLI Preferred Vendor Long Island Wedding Officiants, who shared how officiants blend storytelling, preparation and coordination to create ceremonies that feel effortless in the moment and unforgettable in memory.
Personalized Storytelling
A meaningful ceremony doesn’t happen by accident, it’s crafted through care, curiosity and a deep understanding of the couple. “What I want couples to know is that I really do care about them and want to shine a light on what’s beautiful about them,” says Joe.
After learning their story, he blends those details with the experience of officiating more than a thousand weddings, shaping a moment that feels authentic not only to the couple, but to everyone gathered to support them. The goal is to create a ceremony that reflects who they are, honors the people they love and sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Getting to Know You
Before any ceremony can feel truly personal, an officiant needs to understand who the couple is at their core — their values, their humor, their history and the way they move through the world together.
“It’s important to make sure the ceremony feels like the couple,” says Joe. “Ultimately, it needs to represent who each person is in the relationship and all of the things they value and hope and dream.”
His process begins with a short introductory call so couples can get a sense of his style, followed by a formal interview where he spends about an hour walking through ceremony structure, preferred language, faith representation and the journey they’ve shared. Joe approaches these conversations with what he calls “openness and unconditional love,” adding, “I want them to feel as comfortable as possible so I can hear the real truths of their love story.”
Instead of questionnaires, he relies on real conversation — watching their reactions, listening closely and noticing the small human details that reveal what’s special about them. “I’m not looking for perfection. I want it to be human,” he says.
From there, he builds a draft that weaves together sacredness, humor, storytelling and tradition, always searching for the thread that ties everything together. Once the draft is complete, the process becomes fully collaborative, with no limit on revisions. “It’s not done until everyone loves it,” Joe says, because the ceremony should feel unmistakably, authentically theirs.
Behind the Scenes Magic
Long before the ceremony begins, officiants are quietly managing details couples rarely see — adjusting for weather, coordinating with vendors and making sure every moment unfolds smoothly. Joe explains that flexibility is essential: “Just this weekend there was a strong possibility of rain right at ceremony time. I can easily pivot locations and adjust the ceremony so that if the rain starts, I know how to wrap things up without panicking or losing the beauty of the moment.”
He’s often helping physically, too. “Last weekend we moved inside, then outside again in the span of a half hour — and I wasn’t just watching. I was out there moving chairs with the staff, DJs and photographers because we want to make the moment as perfect as humanly possible.”
Once he arrives, Joe sets up his own PA and mic, checks in with the maître d’, DJ, musicians and photo/video teams, and reviews cues and timing so everyone is aligned. During the ceremony, he instinctively adjusts the couple’s position for better lighting, shifts out of the photographer’s shot, steadies a nervous bride, ensures the best man has the rings and handles unexpected moments (even fainting guests on a 100‑degree day!) As Joe puts it, “A couple’s uncle or best friend isn’t going to know what to do with all of that. But we do, because we love it and we do it every day.”
The Legal Stuff
When it comes to the legal side of a wedding, officiants carry responsibilities couples often don’t realize. Joe explains, “First and foremost, it’s the officiant’s job to be legal in what they do.” Online ordinations have never been recognized on Long Island, so couples should confirm their officiant is properly ordained or has obtained a single‑use permit from Town Hall.
Beyond performing a legally binding ceremony, officiants execute the marriage license, ensure all signatures and witnesses are correct and return it to the same town or city hall where it was issued — often with extra care. Joe says his team sends licenses back via certified mail with tracking and provides couples with scans and follow‑up information so they can begin any name or status changes. Requirements for obtaining the license vary: New York City needs only an ID, while the rest of New York State requires a birth or naturalization certificate, plus certified translations if documents are in another language. Couples who have been previously married or widowed may need additional paperwork. Licenses are valid for 60 days and must be present at the ceremony unless the couple is already legally married. A professional officiant ensures every step is handled correctly so couples never have to worry about the fine print.
A wedding ceremony is the emotional heart of the day, and the officiant is the person who brings that moment to life through storytelling, preparation, coordination and legal expertise. Joe’s approach shows how much care goes into making a ceremony feel personal, seamless and grounded. When couples understand the depth of that work, they can relax into the moment, trust the process and fully experience the joy of beginning their marriage surrounded by the people who love them.