BOLI Blog

After it Was Over, I Realized the Small Stuff Didn’t Matter

By February 19, 2020 October 14th, 2020 No Comments

It rained on my wedding day and I survived

It is the most special day of your life, so of course you want everything to go exactly as you have always envisioned it in your mind. But what happens when your wedding day doesn’t go as planned? Your cake topper didn’t show up, your flowers were wrong, or instead of making your day easier, one of your bridesmaids ends up making your day more difficult? Relax. While it may seem like the world is ending, I assure you it is not. Life is tricky and unpredictable, and even on the one day that you plead with the universe to be on your side, things still go wrong. Whether your hair isn’t quite right, or your cousin’s girlfriend shows up wearing white, I’m here to remind you why the small stuff doesn’t matter.

If we were to poll past brides, without a doubt almost all of them would say at least one thing went wrong on their wedding day. And while these mishaps may sting for a while, once the post-wedding high wears off, I can say with confidence that each of these brides realized that the small, inconvenient details no longer mattered when looking at the big picture.

I got married on April 26th, 2019. For an entire year before my wedding I obsessively worried about the weather. April showers bring May flowers they say, and all I could think about for 365 days was whoever “they are”, I hope they’re wrong. Turns out they were right, and on the morning of my wedding while I got my hair done, I sat with a puss on my face as rain drops raced down the windows. My mom and my bridesmaids did a great job trying to distract me, but their efforts couldn’t stop the pain I felt in my heart. I had waited for this day for so long and it was about to be ruined by stupid Mother Nature.

We broke out the clear umbrellas once the limo came to take us to the church. My dad escorted me out of the house, and as my sparkly heels click-clacked on the brand new pavers of the front walkway (that my parents insisted on having done specifically for outdoor family wedding portraits) I realized the irony. You can plan all you want, but you can’t control what happens.

After the ceremony, we had plans to take photos at Planting Field Arboretum. This was where my dream wedding photos and video were going to be taken. It is the only place I envisioned. The rain had turned to drizzle at this point, and I was hopeful that the clouds would break and my new husband and I would get some gorgeous golden hour shots. My vision was shattered when our photographer told us it was a no-go. More rain was headed our way and she advised we stay at the church for our outdoor photos before the heavens opened up again.

We took some photos and then moved on to the venue. We ran outside in between bouts of rain to take photos with our bridal party. There were many beautiful outdoor photo opportunities at our venue, but we stayed in one, the one closest to the doors. I watched as our bridesmaids and groomsmen would run back to the safety of the venue after their shots were taken and I wanted to cry.

Two months later when we received our photos, it took me a few minutes to get over the fact that I didn’t get a lot of the shots I wanted due to the rain. I rolled my eyes when I saw how my hair fell a bit due to all the moisture in the air. But then I smiled when I saw the photo of my husband with tears in his eyes as he watched me walk down the aisle. I laughed when I saw the playful, candid shots of my groom twirling me around under a wet, bright pink cherry tree. I cried when I saw my favorite photo, the love of my life and I kissing under a clear umbrella, so in love and too wrapped up in the moment to care that it was literally pouring rain around us.

Looking back, of course I was upset that it rained on my wedding day. Ultimately though, despite the one thing that went wrong, the most important thing went perfectly right. I got to marry my best friend surrounded by all of our family and friends. I mean it when I say that truly, nothing else matters than that. To all the brides-to-be, accept that some things are out of your control, and that it is perfectly ok to feel a little let down if your day doesn’t go according to plan. Make peace with this possibility beforehand. There may be inclement weather, your décor may be wrong, or your officiant may be late. However, realize that you are going to be surrounded by more love than you can imagine. The rest is just small stuff. Don’t miss the point.

Written by Jillian Parisi,

BOLI Blogger

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