Getting married is a romantic affair, but it’s also a religious and legal one. Here are answers to the most common questions about wedding ceremonies
You may be more focused on playlists, cocktail hour menus, and first dance choreography, but your ceremony is one of the most important parts of your wedding. This is the ritual that will unite you as a married couple, and it’s filled with beauty and reverence.
Your wedding ceremony is a reflection of your story, your love, and your beliefs. Most couples want to personalize this moment with elements they choose. However, some requests might mean your wedding ceremony won’t be legally or religiously valid.
Here are a few common questions that brides of Long Island ask about wedding ceremonies.
Image courtesy of EXO Photography and Cinema
1. “Can priests marry outside of the church?”
This is one of the most common questions our members ask. According to the Code of Cannon Law, “marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile…with the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.”
So technically yes — priests can marry outside of the church, but permission must be granted from the local bishop. And it’s highly, highly unlikely the bishop will grant you permission unless it’s under extreme extenuating circumstances (your church has been destroyed by a natural disaster, your fiancé is seriously ill and in the hospital, etc).
This is the case if you want your wedding ceremony to be a full catholic mass, and you want to receive the sacrament of marriage. If you’re not interested in a full mass, the rules get a little grayer. Father Michael Callahan, of BOLI Preferred Vendor Interfaith Jewish Catholic Weddings, performs ceremonies along with Rabbi David Katz.
2. “Can my friend/family member be my officiant?”
Yes! Your friend or family member can officiate your wedding by obtaining a one-day New York state authorization.
Image courtesy of The Glenmar Studio
3. “How long before my ceremony do I need to get my marriage license?”
You’ll need your marriage license at least 24 hours before your ceremony. Your license will be valid for 60 days (so don’t get it more than 2 months in advance!)
4. “Do I need to get my marriage license in the same town/county where the ceremony will be?”
Nope — you can obtain your marriage license from any town or city clerk’s office in New York state.
5. “How long should my ceremony be?”
This is totally up to you!
If you’re getting married in a church or synagouge, your ceremony length will depend on the rites and rituals that must be included for your specific religious institution. If your ceremony is non-religious, most ceremonies typically last between 20-30 minutes. But again, length is up to you! There’s no legal minimum requirement.
Image courtesy of Tino Photography
6. “Do I have to include anything specific in my vows?”
Legally, the only thing you have to include in your vows is a declaration that both you and your fiancé are taking each other as spouses.
7. “Will my ceremony be legal if just me, my fiancé, and the officiant are present?”
Unfortunately, no — you’ll need at least one witness other than your officiant that could testify in a court of law. But hey, did you know your four legged friend can be one of your witnesses?