BOLI Blog

How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech

Taking the mic for your best girl, but don’t know where to start? Here are a few tips on how to give a great maid of honor speech

how to give a maid of honor speech

You’re the bride’s right hand gal (or guy!) and you couldn’t be happier. And after the bridal shower, bachelorette, and morning-of festivities have passed, you’ll be tasked with one last job: making a speech at the reception.

But speaking to a room full of people can be super intimidating. What in the world should you say? How long should your speech be? What if you completely forget what you wanted to mention? 

If trying to answer these questions is enough to make you hide out in the catering hall’s bathroom, don’t worry. Here’s how to write a maid of honor speech that’s meaningful, memorable, and heartfelt.

Think about your relationship

Chances are, you’ve known the bride for a pretty long time. That means you’ve made tons of memories together through college antics, summer trips, or unforgettable nights.

When you think about the bride, what memories come to mind? Write all of them down, along with the emotions you experience as a result. This is a great starting place for your speech!

AVOID including any awkward or scandalous specifics in your actual speech. It’s okay to think about those moments and laugh about them in this stage, or even incorporate a private joke that only the bride will understand, but remember – you want to celebrate the bride and her new spouse, not embarrass her in front of family and friends (and her new in-laws!) 

Think about the couple

It’s also likely that you knew the bride BEFORE she met her fiancé. What was she like in those days? And how has she changed since meeting her new spouse? 

Do you remember meeting her fiancé for the first time? What were your impressions then, and have they changed since getting to know them more? 

While you’re probably closer to the bride than you are to her spouse, you want to make sure you’re honoring both of them and the start of their new life together. So don’t forget to talk about the two of them! 

AVOID mentioning the bride’s past relationships, or any rocky moments the two of them experienced through the years. You’ll also want to avoid mentioning any negative feelings you’ve had towards her new spouse. Keep things positive!

how to give a maid of honor speech

Image courtesy of Janelle Brooke Photography

Organize your thoughts

Once you’ve made some notes, organize them in an order that makes sense to you. Many speeches will go chronologically, starting with early memories and finishing up with more current thoughts and observations. But it doesn’t HAVE to be chronological! Take a look at what you’ve written and think about how your speech will flow. It may be helpful to write each individual memory or thought on an index card, so you can shuffle the order and try a few things out.

AVOID a lengthy rehashing of your entire relationship. We know you’ve got A LOT of great moments to share, but keep your speech at around two to three minutes. This will keep your audience engaged and listening without “tuning out.”

Practice!

When you’ve solidified your speech, it will be time to practice it some before the big day. You can elect to write everything out word for word, or just make a few bullet points and speak more freely. Whatever you decide, you’ll want to make sure you go over it a few times – the more rehearsed and prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be when it’s your turn to take the mic!

AVOID just “winging it.” Yes, a good speech will sound natural and from the heart, but a bad speech will sound unorganized and rambling. And you’re much more likely to sound unorganized and rambling if you try to speak totally off the cuff. Even if you don’t want to rehearse your maid of honor speech a million times before you make it, at least go over it in your head some before the big day. 

how to give a maid of honor speech

Image courtesy of L.I. Party Photos

Use your notes

Don’t be afraid to use a cheat sheet when it’s time to speak – hey, even celebrities pull out a slip of paper when they win awards! Having your notes to reference means you won’t be pressured to memorize everything. And if you slip up or forget something during your speech, you’ll only have to look down to get a quick reminder.  

AVOID reading directly off the page. Part of what will make your maid of honor speech meaningful is a connection to the audience, and it’s hard to connect when your eyes are glued to your paper. Make eye contact a few times during your speech – especially with the bride!

Be yourself

Remember – the bride loves you for YOU! Give your maid of honor speech as if you were sharing memories over dinner, or recounting funny stories at a party. Let the great parts of your personality shine through!

AVOID forcing humor or deeper meaning into your maid of honor speech if it doesn’t feel natural. This isn’t a stand-up set or a dramatic monologue – you don’t HAVE to be funny or sentimental if it doesn’t feel right. 

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