Should you take your mother-in-law dress shopping? Is it tradition, a common courtesy, or unnecessary?
Shopping for your wedding dress is one of the most iconic, pivotal, and fun moments of wedding planning. It’s surely something you will want to share with those closest to you, like your family and close friends.
But what about your future family members? Should you take your mother-in-law dress shopping with you? Is it a customary courtesy, just something nice to do, or totally unnecessary? As with most questions around wedding planning…it depends.
Know yourself
Every bride-to-be is different. Some are super social and want to include as many people as possible in any event. Some are more introverted and like to keep things small.
Shopping for your wedding gown should always be joyful, but if you’ve stacked the audience and you don’t enjoy being the center of attention, it can turn something fun into a real downer. The opposite is also true — if you want shopping to feel like a party but you’re only there with one or two people, you may feel a bit let down by the experience. Decide first where you fall on the spectrum. That can be a crucial step in determining your final dress shopping guest list.
It’s also important to research your top bridal boutiques before you make an appointment. Some salons only allow a certain number of guests to tag along, so keep that in mind!
Know your mother-in-law
Just like every bride is different, so is every mother-in-law. Some are kind and supportive, some…well…aren’t, and some may feel more like acquaintances than future family members.
You should know your future mother-in-law well enough by this point to know her general demeanor. Is she more quiet and reserved? Conservative and stoic? Loud and opinionated? Positive and outgoing? Will you feel encouraged and uplifted by those traits, or annoyed by them?
Remember, this is your wedding and your dress shopping experience. It’s important that you enjoy yourself, and that the event excites you for the big day.
Image courtesy of Studio 27 Photography
Know your relationship
Your future mother-in-law may feel like one of your best friends already. Or, they may not. Neither one is “good” or “bad,” it just is what it is. Family relationships are always complex, and that goes double for in-laws.
If you’re pretty close with your mother-in-law, inviting her dress shopping should be a no brainer! This is a mother figure in your life, and having her there will help to further cement all the positive aspects of your relationship. Again, remember that certain salons have guest limitations, so be sure to account for her when making your lists.
If you’re not close with your mother-in-law, there’s absolutely no law or rule that says they have to be there. Shopping for a wedding gown is a special, intimate, and meaningful event, and it should be shared with those closest to you.
If the answer is “no,” consider other ways she can be involved
While it’s totally fine to dress shop without your mother-in-law in tow, remember — it’s her child’s wedding too, and this person will be a member of your family soon. Consider including them in other aspects of wedding planning, like touring venues, bridal showers, tastings, or other events. Not only will this help your future mother-in-law feel involved in the process, but it will also help the two of you get to know each other better.