BOLI Blog

How to Write a Wedding Day Letter to Your New Spouse

Can’t think of the right words for such a big day? Here are a few tips for writing a great wedding day letter to your new spouse.

It can happen to the best of us: the stressors of planning a wedding can become pretty overwhelming, and we can quickly forget what the day is all about. But after all the DJ meetings, venue tours, and florist mock-ups, your big day will be here. And it will be so much more than just a party. 

It’s important to take a moment and express what the day — and your partner — really mean to you. Writing a letter to your soon-to-be-spouse can honor your past, your present, and your future. While in most cases your vows will be relatively public, a letter to your spouse is an intimate way to mark an incredibly special moment in both of your lives.

Even if you’ve never been one for words, you should still consider writing something for your fiancé to read once the big day arrives! Here’s how to write a meaningful wedding day letter.

Image courtesy of Gelfman Photography

Share your “why.”

Ever heard the phrase “how do I love thee, let me count the ways”? The opening of your wedding day letter is a perfect place to share all of the reasons why you love your soon-to-be spouse. Maybe it’s their thoughtfulness, their humor, or their charitable nature (or, let’s be real, that killer tush). Whatever it is, tell your partner all of the things that drew you to them in the first place, and the qualities that made you fall in love with them. 

Recount a memory

This can be something as momentous as your proposal, or small moment that continues to hold meaning.  Think about all the beautiful memories you’ve made as a couple, and write about the one that stands out the most.

Image courtesy of Fine Art Photography

Your dreams for the future

Your wedding day letter is a great place to talk about your hopes and dreams for the years ahead. Think about your ideal future together, whether it includes starting a family, buying a home, or partnering on a business venture. Your letter can also serve as a beautiful time capsule — read it again in 10 years, and see how far you’ve come!

Close it out with a bang

Whether it’s a running joke between you, a heartfelt emotion you’d like to express, or a promise you’d like to make, end your letter with a bit of flare. 

Tips for writing a great wedding day letter

It’s not every day that we sit down to write a letter, so here are some helpful tips to consider:

  • Make notes. Before you write, think of a few things you’d like to include in your letter and jot them down somewhere — in a journal, a spare piece of paper, or even the notes app on your phone. That way, you’ll have something to reference (and you won’t forget any important details!)
  • Set aside time to write. Things that are rushed rarely turn out well. So instead of waiting until the last minute to scribble something down, set aside a few hours before your wedding to craft your letter. You can really think about what you’d like to say, and how you’d like to say it.

Image courtesy of Yellow House Images

  • Keep a draft that you can edit. When you make a typo in a text message, or think of a better word to say in an email, you can just hit “delete.” That’s not the case with a handwritten letter! So before you pick up a pen, try typing your letter out first. Then you can make changes (and utilize spellcheck) as you continue to work on it.
  • Include details. Get specific with your letter. If you’re recalling a memory, use your five senses: what do you remember seeing? Hearing? Tasting? The details you include in each section of your letter will be what makes it special. 
  • Stay positive. Your wedding day letter isn’t the time to bring up arguments you’ve had, or dwell on difficult times in your relationship. If you’re both able to look back at these tough moments and laugh, it’s okay to make a quick joke about it. But for the most part, your wedding day letter should focus on all the wonderful days you’ve shared. 

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