You’ll hear a lot of ideas and advice when planning your wedding – and not all of it is accurate! We’re here to bust 3 of the biggest wedding myths out there.
From the moment you send out that first ring selfie, you’ll be flooded with love and well wishes from your friends and family. Along with those heartfelt congratulations, you’ll also probably hear a few “pearls of wisdom.” While plenty of that advice may prove helpful (your matron of honor has been a lifesaver), some of it may be…well, a little disconnected from reality. Here are 3 of the biggest wedding myths out there, expertly busted by our BOLI team.
MYTH #1: “If they really want to be there, they will.”
If we’ve heard this one once, we’ve heard it a million times: the idea that the only thing keeping someone from attending your wedding (or your bridal shower, or your bachelorette party) is the desire to be there.
Here’s the truth – life is complicated. For many of your guests, attending your wedding is not simply a matter of checking a box on an RSVP. You may think you know everything about their lives – from their finances and work schedules, to their relationships and health concerns. But in all honesty, you don’t. When someone declines an invitation to your wedding, it’s not an indication that they do not want to attend. It’s an indication that they simply cannot attend.
As much as you want to share your wedding with everyone you love, keep in mind that for a multitude of reasons, not everyone who WANTS to be there will be able to make it. And that’s okay! Focus on the people that are in attendance, and celebrate in spirit with the ones who aren’t.
MYTH #2: “Everyone will bring a gift, and you’ll make back most of what you spent.”
Wrong and wronger.
Listen – the second half of this might have been true 30, 40, 0r 50 years ago, when weddings didn’t cost as much as a luxury car. But nowadays (and we don’t have to tell you this twice), weddings are EXPENSIVE. When you take the average cost of a Long Island wedding – around $50k – and split that among 150 guests, each person in attendance would have to gift you around $330 to “make back” what you spent (and remember – that’s per GUEST, not per couple) . So unless you’re friends with very, very generous people, the likelihood that you’ll receive in gifts what you spent on the wedding is slim.
And yes, we can almost guarantee that at least one person coming to your wedding will arrive empty handed. Etiquette says they have a year to send you something, but often they won’t. Sure it’s crass, but remember what we said above – you may think you know someone’s financial situation, but you really don’t. Try to not take it personally, and be grateful for the gifts you do receive.
MYTH #3: “Your wedding day will be the best day of your whole life.”
Wow, that’s A LOT of pressure to put on one 24 hour period.
Will your wedding day be amazing, regardless of anything that happens? Yes! You’re celebrating something incredible – sharing your life with the person you love. What’s not amazing about that?
But here’s the thing – the higher our expectations are for any one day or event, the more likely it is we’ll end up disappointed in the outcome. If you enter into your wedding day with the mindset of “this has to be the very best day I’ve ever had in my entire life,” when something doesn’t go according to plan (because we promise you, something won’t) or you don’t feel as elated as you think you should be, you’ll be too focused on what you aren’t feeling instead of appreciating the day for what it is.
Your wedding should be a highlight of your life. But other moments should be too – the birth of your children, graduating with a hard-earned degree, the first day at a dream job, the list goes on. Instead of trying to force your wedding into “best day ever” status, consider it one part of the beautiful and rich tapestry of your life.