If You’re Not the Bride, Don’t Wear White. Please.

From friends to family, here is how to handle someone who wants to wear white to your wedding.

The day has come, you’re engaged!!!  As you start your wedding planning, you could run into some bumps in the road. And some of those bumps you may think you would never have to deal with. For example, one of your guests wants to wear white! And as we all know –  if you’re not the bride, don’t wear white. Please. But it’s bound to happen to a few brides as they plan their big day. Here are a few situations you may find yourself in and ways to handle someone who wants to wear white to your wedding.

Your Family Members

For whatever reason, your mother or future mother-in-law or siblings or cousins – you get the picture – have it in their heads they want to wear white. If you find out with enough time, we suggest sitting them down and explaining how important it is that you be the only one wearing white on your wedding day. You could offer to go shopping with them to pick out a dress or gown to wear on your big day. If they are still insistent, and you’re comfortable with it, suggest they choose off-white or beige instead. It’s a compromise that hopefully everyone will be happy with.

MORE: My Wedding, My Decisions, No You Cannot Bring Your Child

Your Friends

Those in your girl tribe who aren’t in the bridal party may want to wear white. If you get wind of this, and have a trusted bestie who also knows this friend who wants to wear white, have them suggest a different color. Or if they are chill, have your bestie explain the situation. But if you feel comfortable enough, just as with your family members, you could always have the conversation yourself.

MORE: I’m Not A Bridezilla, I Just Know What I Want

Your Parents’ Friends

If you hear that one of your parents’ friends wants to wear white, we suggest having your parents run interference here and suggest they choose a different color. They can explain that their daughter would prefer to be the only one wearing white on her big day.

If confrontation isn’t your thing, and you do get wind that someone wants to wear white on your wedding day, unfortunately there’s not much else you can do. Yes, you can have a friend or family member talk to the future guest, but ultimately, we all know we can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do.

If you do see someone wearing white, just remember –  no one is looking at them, and everyone is looking at you! It’s your day. The color that a guest wears isn’t what’s on anyone’s mind. They are there to celebrate and be with you and your future spouse.

MORE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

And for any BOLIs who will be wedding guests, unless the bride asks you to wear white, choose any other color dress or outfit while in attendance. If you absolutely want or need to wear white, choose a fun scarf or accessory that is the complete opposite of white to add some color to your outfit.