Should You Plan a Jack and Jill Shower?

A Jack and Jill shower is a great way to include your fiancé and other male relatives.

A wedding is a celebration of you and your partner’s love. So, why wouldn’t you want to celebrate all events leading up to your wedding day with your fiancé? While a traditional bridal shower includes all of the strong females in your life, a “Jack and Jill” shower is a coed and can include not just your fiancé, but other important male relatives and friends. So the question is, should you plan a Jack and Jill shower? Here are a few things to consider.

Engagement Party vs. Jack and Jill Shower

Yes, engagement parties are a great way to celebrate your recent engagement surrounded by your loved ones – both male and female. So why have a Jack and Jill shower too? Showers are traditionally a way to help out couples prepare for marriage, as guests give gifts they can use to build their home. An engagement party can be more relaxed with less focus on gifts and more focus on celebrating the couple.

Think About Your Guest List

Traditionally, the guest list for your bridal shower would include close female relatives and friends who are on your wedding guest list. And while it shouldn’t be your full wedding invite list, it probably shouldn’t include guests who aren’t invited to the wedding. For a Jack and Jill shower, you might want to include your father, future father-in-law, brothers, grandfathers and, of course, your future spouse. Remember, just like a traditional shower, the number of guests should be smaller than your engagement party and wedding.

MORE: 15 Unique Bridal Shower Ideas

Timing of the Shower

Just as with a traditional shower, you’ll want to consider throwing it about one to three months before your wedding. You’ll also want to consider other events such as the bachelor and/or bachelorette parties. If you have a lot of out of town guests, consider having the parties closer together. But if guests are all local, consider spacing the parties out so guests can comfortably attend everything.

Who Throws a Jack and Jill Shower?

Again, traditionally, the maid of honor or bride’s mother would throw a bridal shower. But now that times have changed and coed showers are more common, others can pitch in and help plan. In fact, if your Jack and Jill shower is the first among your family and friends, it would be beneficial to help plan things yourself and set your expectations.

MORE: What to Expect When Moving in With Your Fiancé

What Happens at a Jack and Jill Shower?

Honestly, anything you want! You can keep the shower casual, where your close family and friends can mingle and get to know each other before the wedding. Or keep it more traditional, play some fun games and have some laughs. Should you open gifts in front of everyone? That’s completely up to you. More recently, some brides have skipped opening gifts, while others had a blast sharing their gifts with their loved ones.

MORE: Best Shower/Rehearsal/Bachelorette Locations for Long Island Weddings

Ultimately, you and your spouse need to decide what’s best for you – like you would with other aspects of wedding planning. If your spouse loves the idea of you having a traditional shower and would rather just show up at the end to help bring your gifts home, then a traditional bridal shower would be the way to go. But if you both love the idea of being showered together, then a Jack and Jill shower would be the perfect option. As long as you both agree, the day will be perfect.

The Estate at Three Village Inn is nestled in one of Long Island’s most scenic and historic villages.

There’s a wealth of beautiful spaces on Long Island that provide backdrops to magnificent weddings. However, it’s not often you find a picturesque locale that feels truly intimate, as if you’re celebrating in an enchanted hamlet tucked away from the hustle and bustle of suburbia.

The Estate at Three Village Inn, a BOLI Preferred Venue, provides just that – a warm, hospitable, and private setting with the beauty and professionalism you’d expect from a Lessing’s property. 

• MORE: 39 Questions to Ask When Touring a Venue

“He built the area to be a community-based village.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

The walls of The Estate at Three Village Inn carry a rich history. “The building itself was actually built back in 1751 by Richard Hallock-,” said Tom Wright, The Estate at Three Village Inn’s Director of Sales. “Around 1835 Jonas Smith purchased the estate – as in the ‘Smithtown’ Smiths” who used the home and property as a shipping hub.”

The home’s next owners should also sound familiar to Brides of Long Island. “In 1929 , Frank and Jennie Melville purchased the home, renovating it into a Women’s exchange where residents could offer home products for sale to boost the local economy during the depression. They later expanded it into a restaurant and Inn.”

“Together with his father’s assistance, Ward and Frank Melville built the area to be more of a community-based village, a Federal-style center,” Tom continued. “The Lessing’s family began operating the Inn and restaurant in 2006.”

“For beautiful sunset photos, you can step right onto the beach.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

Brides that choose The Estate at Three Village Inn are treated to a plethora of spaces, both indoor and outdoor for photo opportunities . “Our three rooms that are used for events are named after the Three Villages – Old Field, Stony Brook, and Setauket,” Tom explained. “Old Field and Stony Brook are our cocktail rooms that attach to the main ballroom, which is the Setauket/Harborside that can accommodate up to 175 guests.”

You’ll also find another BOLI Preferred Vendor on the property. “Mirabelle at The Three Village Inn is our restaurant on-site, which we utilize for rehearsal dinners, showers, and smaller events from 15 to 50 in addition to lunch and dinner service Wednesday through Sunday,” said Tom.

“In front of the Inn, the outdoor space can be used for ceremonies,” Tom described. “Also, just  across the street is Stony Brook Harbor. For beautiful sunset photos, you can step right onto the beach.”

The Estate at Three Village Inn also boasts a 21 room on-site hotel, for your guest’s convenience.

“When people arrive in the village, they’re amazed that the area offers so much.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

If you’re looking for a venue that’s off the beaten path, Estate at Three Village Inn will check all of your boxes. “People that travel 25A typically are heading east into Port Jefferson,” Tom detailed. “So this is a hidden gem. When people arrive in the village, they’re amazed that the area offers so much. Even some who live in the area are surprised at all the village has to offer. It’s literally a little community built into this village right on the water.”

“That’s what sets us apart,” Tom added. “We’re not sitting on a main thoroughfare. It’s a quiet, setback kind of facility.”

“The food is definitely a mainstay for us.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

Not only will you experience the Estate’s beautiful property, you’ll also be treated to world-class cuisine. “The food is definitely a mainstay for us, and because of the restaurant’s cuisine and reputation, a lot of menu ideas stem from there,” Tom said. “You’ll see  cross-sections of popular cocktail  items like chickpea fries and Tavern sliders, that cross over into catering.” 

Of course, The Estate at Three Village Inn understands the importance of creative presentation. “This past Summer we offered the option for couples to serve their guests beverages prior to their ceremony.  This was presented in a beautifully-decorated adult tricycle, serving craft beers and adult signature cocktails. This is something a little bit out of the ordinary that sparks interest.”

“Couples embrace the things that interest them, and they want the guests to share that experience with them.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

Tom has seen an abundance of unique weddings over the years. “Couples embrace the things that interest them, and they want the guests to share that experience with them.”

Among the most memorable of his career was a day that included interactive centerpieces. “They were actually dancers,” he described. “They were dressed in costumes that were covered in flowers, so you thought they were just centerpieces on the table. Then, the music changed, the lights changed, and then they came ‘to life’ stepping off the tables and onto the dance floor. They became part of the party as well.”

He also remembered a groom’s skillful entrance. “He was a mountain biker, so he came in riding on his mountain bike and did their first dance on the back wheel. He was able to do spins with the bride in the center of the dance floor.”

“Attending showcases is your best bet.” – The Estate at Three Village Inn

If you’re in the thick of planning and want to truly experience your venue, Tom suggests checking out venue showcases. “Attending showcases is your best bet. We tend to showcase not just the traditional aspects of what we do within a wedding reception, but that ‘splash,’ that ‘over and above,’ the things that are going to enhance the overall experience. Plus we also highlight the foods we offer, so the showcases get you involved with the vendors and lets you taste some of our Chef’s creations.” 

He also advised exploring all-inclusive packages. “Most  of our couples lean towards a ‘complete wedding package’ that includes a DJ, photography, limousine, and floral displays,” he said. “It avoids the hassle of shopping around.”

Even if you do have your heart set on a specific vendor, The Estate at Three Village Inn will work with you to create your preferred experience. The Estate at Three Village Inn is the perfect place for your charming and intimate day! 

• MORE: Plan your wedding with Ring Leader

Before you start planning your dream wedding, it’s important to figure out your budget.

As you and your future spouse start thinking about your wedding plans, you’ll want to sit down and make a budget. By figuring out ahead of time what’s important to both of you, and how much you’re both willing to spend, you can avoid potential disagreements as you start booking vendors.

Making a wedding budget may seem daunting, but here are a few things to consider that will help get you started.

Check Your Funds

Take a look at both you and your partner’s funds. Whether you have joint accounts already or separate accounts, take inventory and figure out a number that you’re comfortable spending. Even if either of your parents are helping to pay for the wedding, it’s important to determine a number that you could spend if needed.

MORE: 15 Ways to Save Money on Your Wedding Gown

Figure Out Who Will Be Contributing

Any conversation about money can be difficult. However, it’s important to have a clear understanding of who might be contributing to help pay for your wedding, and just how much. This will make it easier to make a wedding budget.

Share What’s Important

Once you have a wedding budget in place, have a conversation about what’s important to each of you. Perhaps you want to spend more on a photographer, while your partner wants to splurge on a DJ. Figure out what is important, and how much you’re comfortable spending from your budget accordingly. You can even take it a step further and break down how much you’d like to spend on each vendor.

MORE: How to stick to your wedding budget

Put Together Your Guest List

The venue will most likely be the biggest expense, so it’s important to keep that in mind when making a wedding budget. A good way to gauge a potential number is to put together your guest list. Once you have that guest count, you can go into venue tours with an idea of what fits into your budget.

Download Ring Leader

Once you have your budget, you’ll need a way to keep yourself on track. A great way to do that is to download Ring Leader. Within Ring Leader, you can manage all of your appointments and payments, get reminders when payments are due, and easily see how much you are spending. Some other cool features include communicating not just with vendors, but with guests too!

MORE: How Ring Leader Completely Transforms Your Wedding Planning

Research, Research, Research

Do your research. When you have your budget, narrow your search to vendors that stay within your financial limits. Rely on the Brides of Long Island and Ring Leader to get honest feedback about vendors that fit your budget. Also research different ways to save – perhaps your dream venue is slightly cheaper during the off season. Research discounts too – if you or your partner are military or law enforcement, some vendors offer a discount. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

What Happens If You Go Over

It might happen, and that’s OK. As you make a wedding budget, discuss with your partner what would happen if you spend over that amount. If you can, set aside some funds just for situations like this. It might even be worthwhile to have a budget range when it comes to vendors that are most important to you – for example, you may prefer to spend $5,000 on a photographer but would be willing to spend $8,000. If the final number falls within that range, you’re still coming out ahead (or maybe that’s bride math).

However you want to make your wedding budget, don’t put it off. Have these money conversations before you start making appointments (and possibly fall in love with a vendor or venue that’s outside your budget). The earlier you solidify numbers, the easier it will be to decide which vendors will make your dream wedding a reality!

Two hundred guests attended the elegant affair on Dec. 14, 2024.

Yvette Nicole Brown and Anthony Davis said ‘I Do’ in an elegant wedding at The Maybourne Beverly Hills in Los Angeles last month, according to People.

The day was full of special moments, including a live performance from Grammy and Tony winner Leslie Odom Jr. There was also a surprise guest – Brown’s father, who has Alzheimer’s disease, was able to attend thanks to Davis.

MORE: My Dad Didn’t Walk Me Down The Aisle

Since her father couldn’t walk her down the aisle, Brown’s brother filled the important role. During the ceremony, Davis managed to pull off the emotional surprise as he arrived with Brown’s father. He explained he arranged for the surprise through her father’s care facility.

According to People, Brown wore a mermaid-style gown designed by Ines Di Santo, featuring sheer sleeves and lace accents. Brown says she spotted the dress as she was leaving her fitting at the bridal salon. “I saw it peeking out of the rack, and it was absolutely the dress,” Brown says.

MORE: What you feel when you find THE dress

Following a cocktail hour with signature drinks, the newlyweds, and their 200 guests – including many of Brown’s Community co-stars, enjoyed a dinner menu featuring sea bass and short rib. Later in the reception, Davis and Brown did a quick change for more relaxed looks. Davis wore a white suit and sneakers, while Brown wore a white Arlinda McIntosh dress and jacket with embellished sneakers. Much easier to dance in.

The pair are now focusing on their future. “I want to be with this man for 30 years … continuing to love him and to put him first and be his best friend,” says Brown.

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Amanda about her romantic wedding at the Old Field Club.

Amanda and Luke had their first date on a beach, so it seemed only fitting for the pair to get married at a venue overlooking the water. And three years after their first date, they celebrated their wedding at Old Field Club, a BOLI Preferred Venue, as they danced the night away with their friends and family.

Bonding on the Beach

Amanda and Luke met on a dating app. While that’s common for many brides, Amanda says it was unlike her. “It was totally out of character to meet someone on a dating app,” she explains. “But it turned out to be our story.” Their first date was on the beach during sunset in the summer of 2021. They both love the beach, and would often take walks on the beach while they were dating.

Fast forward to April of 2023, and Luke wanted to take a walk on the beach one foggy morning. “I thought it was a little weird with the poor weather, but we went out anyway,” she says. “And that’s when he proposed.”

MORE: Getting Married Before the Wedding? Here’s Why it Can Make Sense.

Love at First Venue

Amanda and Luke legally married shortly after their engagement, then started planning their reception for Nov. 9, 2024. “Getting married first took some of the pressure off of us throughout the planning,” she says.

After they confirmed their date with their pastor, Roger Blackmore, they set out to find the perfect venue. It didn’t take long, as once they toured Old Field Club, they fell in love. “We actually canceled all other venue tours,” Amanda says. “We just fell in love with the outside ceremony space overlooking the water and the beautiful ballroom. Since we love the beach, the water view spoke to us.”

With the venue and pastor in place, Amanda and Luke wanted to make sure their DJ would keep the dance floor full the whole night. Absolute Entertainment, a BOLI preferred vendor, did just that. “When we met with Terrence, we were there for a long time – but in a good way,” Amanda explains. “He was so amazing and listened to all of our requests. We wanted music from the 90s and early 2000s, and he and Vincenzo delivered. There were people who danced that I didn’t think would!”

While they didn’t have any trouble booking their vendors, Amanda says two weeks before their wedding, Carlos, who they had been working with at Old Field Club, left. “We had developed such a great rapport with him, he knew everything we wanted for our wedding day, so we were so nervous working with someone new so close to our date,” Amanda says. “At the end of the day, everything was flawless, and Carlos’ replacement, Russ, was wonderful to work with.”

MORE: 6 Things to Consider When Making Your Wedding Day Timeline

A Timeless and Romantic Day

Amanda wanted their wedding day to feel timeless and romantic. However, she didn’t want to order real flowers. Instead she ordered fake bouquets, which were so beautiful that some people thought they were real. For their centerpieces, Amanda ordered candles and some greenery. To execute her vision, Amanda worked with Lavender Events, and she was thrilled with how everything turned out. “When I walked into the ballroom, it was better than I ever could have imagined,” says Amanda. “From the long-tapered candles to the seeded eucalyptus, it was whimsical and magical.”

Though they were legally married, Amanda says Pastor Roger did a great job centering their ceremony around their faith in a beautiful way. “Our ceremony was so special to me,” Amanda says. “He put his own personal touches on it because it knows us so well.”

Besides the ceremony, another special moment for Luke and Amanda was their first dance. “Luke’s sister choreographed our first dance for us,” she says. “It was nice to have the dance choreographed, but it was even more special because she taught it to us.”

While all of their vendors were fantastic, Amanda says their photographer, Courtney Hotis, went above and beyond. “We used her for our engagement photos, and we couldn’t wait to work with her on our wedding day,” Amanda says. “She created the perfect timeline that day and even helped with my mom’s dress malfunction. She was truly a rockstar that day.”

MORE: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff and Other Wedding Mishaps

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Amanda credits her diligent research on the Brides of Long Island Facebook page for her ability to secure the wonderful vendors who made her day fantastic. “I would keep one tab open on the Facebook page, and another tab to research the vendors I’d read about,” she says. “It was such a great resource to get people’s real experiences working with these vendors. Without it, I would have been lost.”

Now that the day is behind them and they can focus on beginning this next chapter together, Amanda admits that everything she stressed about during the planning process wasn’t such a big deal. “Everything is not a crisis – though it feels like that in the moment, for sure,” she says. “But looking back, I laugh as I think about how I stressed out about the stamps on my invitations. So, don’t sweat the small stuff!”

Vendors:
Venue: The Old Field Club, a BOLI preferred vendor
Photographer: Courtney Hotis
Videography: White Diamond
DJ: Absolute Entertainment, a BOLI preferred vendor
Florist: Lings Moments (artificial)
Hair: Hair by Vickk
Makeup: Makeup by Maria
Officiant: Genesis Church – Roger Blackmore
Dress: Blu Rayne Bridal Boutique, a BOLI preferred vendor
Cake: Frank and Son’s Bakery
Tuxedos: Rico’s Clothing, a BOLI preferred vendor

Don’t let these bachelorette party mistakes ruin your fun!

Wedding planning isn’t always about venues, flower choices, and playlists — you’ll definitely want to save time for your bachelorette party!

Some brides look forward to their bachelorette parties even more than their actual wedding days. What’s more fun than getting together with your best gals and celebrating in style?

But before you book those Nashville tickets, keep in mind a few common bachelorette party mistakes that can throw off your entire vibe.

• MORE: 24 Bachelorette Party Ideas on Long Island 

1. Not communicating your ideas

You love your maid-of-honor, but let’s be real — sometimes your versions of “fun” don’t exactly match. If you’re more inclined to enjoy a spa day over a “Thunder from Down Under” night, make sure you let your planning committee know! As a bride, communicating your ideas is vital in every aspect of wedding planning — bachelorette party included.

If you’re planning a bachelorette party for your bride-to-be bestie, remember — SHE is the focus! You’ll want her bachelorette to reflect her personality, and include things that she’ll enjoy. 

2. Unrealistic budgets

Would every bride love to spend their bachelorette on a Caribbean beach, in a luxury ski lodge, or an epic week-long adventure at Disney World? Of course! But if your bridal party consists of a mom with 3 kids under 3, or a grad student that eats ramen for dinner every night, or a newlywed that just dumped her savings into a new home purchase, the likelihood that they’ll be able to afford something extravagant is slim. Consider a realistic budget that still suits your vision — maybe instead of a week at Disney, it’s a weekend!

If you’re a bridal party member, communicate your budget constraints during the planning discussions. You’ll also want to be realistic — don’t say you can afford something when you know you can’t. 

This is why Ring Leader was invented! Brides, you can anonymously poll your bridal party about ANYTHING, bachelorette budgets included. Save yourselves the awkward money talk. 

3. Unrealistic time commitments

This goes along with budget. The more money you’re spending, the more time you’re probably taking for the bachelorette experience. Let’s go back to our example of a week at Disney — can your new mom, grad student, or newlywed bridesmaids realistically ask for that much time away from their commitments? And even if they could, would that cause them lots of stress, or would it mean they have to sacrifice another vacation they have planned later in the year? You’ll want EVERYONE to have a good time on your bachelorette trip. Stress over time away can definitely hamper the fun.

4. Waiting until the last minute

This one’s for the planning committee. If you fail to plan, plan to fail! Waiting until the very last second to settle the details may mean that you pay way more, have to compromise when first choices are sold out, and exclude bridal party members that can’t make it on short notice. Depending on the wedding date, start discussing the bachelorette party 3-6 months in advance — especially if you’re traveling anywhere.

5. Packing the itinerary

If you’re traveling to a fun location for the bachelorette, you’ll definitely want to see all the hot spots. But be wary of planning TOO much in a short time frame. Not only will this wear everyone out, but it’ll also increase the dollar amount your girls have to spend. Schedule in some pool time or a leisurely afternoon window shopping!

6. A bad attitude 

Once you’re in the car or on the plane, it will be time to have fun. Even if the location or the activities wouldn’t be YOUR first choice, that’s okay! This is the bride’s celebration, and the most important thing is that you’re there to support her. Find the enjoyment in your friendship and spending time together! Now is not the time to pout, complain about the itinerary, or fret about all the money you’ve spent. 

If you’re the bride, remember that your girls put a lot of effort into your bachelorette party. Even if things don’t go EXACTLY as planned, you’ll still be together having a great time. 

There is a sweet spot in between your engagement date and your wedding day.

Congratulations! You’re engaged!. We’re sure that you’re getting a hundred questions from family and friends – when will the wedding be? Where will you have it? What about the shower? Who will be in your bridal party? Are you having an engagement party?

First of all – relax! Take a step back and enjoy this time together. Once you have a moment to breathe, sit down with your future spouse and figure out what you want. Do you even want an engagement party? If you do, when should you have an engagement party?

There is a sweet spot in between when you said ‘yes’ and your wedding day. Some couples have an engagement party a few months after they get engaged. Others may wait a bit, depending on their wedding date. For example, if you want a longer engagement (say two years or more), you could wait a few more months to celebrate your engagement with family and friends. If you’re having a shorter engagement, you might want to have the party within a month of the proposal – or consider not having one and focusing on wedding planning.

MORE: 5 Reasons to Have a Long Engagement

Whenever you choose to have your engagement party, there are a few things to consider.

Who will be hosting?

Decide early on who will be hosting your engagement party. Once this is solidified, you’ll be able to figure out what is best for your and your future spouse. You’ll also be able to budget accordingly – and answer the rest of the questions below!

Venue size

Will this be a small, intimate gathering with close friends and family? Or will it be larger? Will it be a backyard barbecue or catered at a restaurant or venue? Once you figure out the venue, you can focus on the guest list.

MORE: 5 Reasons to Have a Short Engagement

Guest list

Even if you’re hosting a small gathering with family and friends, you might need to draw the line on your second cousins when it comes to the engagement party. Save extended family members – or family members you’re not close with – for your actual wedding date. And as far as friends, if you know your bridal party, you might just want to stick to having them to keep it small.

Location of the party

We’re not talking about the actual venue of the party, but more the location. For example, if you live on Long Island but all of your family and friends live out of state, you should think about whether they will travel for the engagement party.

Time of year

As you start to plan your engagement party, consider the time of year. The holidays can be tough for people, as they might be busy with holiday parties or commitments. In the summer months, people might be traveling.

MORE: 7 Long Island Engagement Party Ideas That Will Wow Your Guests

Remember, just like with your wedding day, you’re not going to please everyone when it comes to your engagement party, so do what makes you and your future spouse happy. If you want to have a large engagement party to celebrate what’s to come, then do it. If you just want a small dinner party, that’s OK too. And last but not least, make sure whoever you invite to your engagement party is definitely on your wedding invite list!

And when you’re ready to start planning, make sure to download our app – Ring Leader!

Formerly known as the Brentwood Country Club, Essex Club can create your dream day on nearly any budget.

It goes without saying that Long Island weddings can get very expensive, very quickly. While that may not be such an issue for some, for others it can mean choosing their dream day or settling for something in their budget.

Essex Club, a BOLI Preferred Venue, merges beauty, affordability, and professionalism in a perfect union. After completing floor-to-ceiling renovations and a name change shortly before the COVID pandemic, this Lessing’s property quickly became a popular and much-loved choice for many Brides of Long Island.  

• MORE: 5 Reasons to have a short engagement

“We just wanted a fresh start.” – Essex Club

In 2019, the Lessing’s-owned Brentwood Country Club underwent major renovations and a name change in order to honor the town’s namesake – a suburban enclave called Brentwood, Essex in England. “We just wanted a fresh start,” said Jessica Dobbins, Essex Club’s general manager. “We completely renovated the whole building.” 

They unveiled the updated Essex Club in January 2020. Two months later, the COVID-19 pandemic halted the local wedding industry.

“With Covid, so many people had to postpone their weddings and needed a new place to go. When things opened up again, couples wanted small, intimate weddings and we were able to give that to them.”

“You can customize as much as you want.” – Essex Club

The updates have transformed Essex Club into a totally versatile and customizable space. “You get the whole building to yourself, so you can customize as much as you want,” Jessica detailed.

“Our cocktail hour space has an enclosed tent with retractable walls,” she continued. “It’s year round no matter what the climate, so if it’s raining, snowing, or freezing cold, your cocktail hour won’t have to be moved inside.”

That cocktail hour space is adjacent to a picturesque gazebo that can be used for your ceremony. “We do seasonal flowers from April until December. And even when the flowers aren’t in bloom, the trees are still all green. It’s a really nice view, and if there’s inclement weather, your ceremony can take place inside in front of our fireplace.”

When it comes time for the party, Essex Club will open their stunning ballroom that holds up to 215 people. “It overlooks the patio where the tent is, so it could be used as one continuous space. If your guests don’t want to be inside with the music, they’re more than welcome to hang out outside in the tent area. A lot of our couples will do after parties there, or add a cigar roller that can work outside.”

“Everyone wants to do something different, and we can definitely do that for them here.” – Essex Club

Essex Club sets itself apart from a host of gorgeous Long Island venues for two reasons: affordability and customizability. “A lot of couples that come here may be paying for everything themselves or they’re already supporting a family, so they want to have a nice, affordable wedding,” Jessica said.

“We also do one event a day, so we can personalize your event ,” she added. “Everyone wants to do something different, and we can definitely do that for them here. We can customize everything from the time your ceremony starts to packages and decorations. Working directly with a couple, our team will tailor to your style and needs, because no two weddings are the same. It’s nice that we have that flexibility.”  

• MORE: 8 Trends for 2025 Long Island Weddings

“If they get a piece of pizza or hot pretzel when they’re on the way out, they’ll remember that the most.” – Essex Club

Of course, Essex Club offers the delectable cuisine that Long Islanders have always associated with the Lessing’s brand. 

“Our most popular menu option for cocktail hour is our Mulberry Street station, which includes eggplant rollatini, sausage and peppers, penne alla vodka, and garlic breadsticks,” Jessica described. “For dinner, it’s our braised short rib and the teriyaki glazed salmon.”

She also offered an alternative idea for wedding favors: a to-go station. “Unfortunately, half the guests always end up leaving the physical items here. But if they get a piece of pizza, a hot pretzel or White Castle when they’re on the way out, they’ll remember that the most.”

“I like when people bring those customizations here to show their love story.” – Essex Club

Personally, Jessica enjoys when couples incorporate their ideas and inspirations into their wedding days. “I like when people bring those customizations here to show their love story,” she explained.

She went on to remember a special wedding from this past summer. “When you walked into the lobby, they had pictures of them when they were first dating. When you moved to the cocktail hour, it was the next chapter of their lives. Then in the ceremony space it was a timeline with pictures and memories of their relationship together, which was really unique. Each room had a different table explaining that chapter of their life, and I’ve never seen that done before.”

“Make it about yourself.” – Essex Club

Jessica had a few words of advice for brides of Long Island. “Make it about yourself,” she suggested. “It’s not about what your family wants. This is your special day so you should do what you want to do. Add those personal touches or go crazy with decorations, get everything you want. Couples can really do that here.”

Plan every moment of your ideal day at Essex Club, a Brides of Long Island Preferred Venue!

• MORE: Plan your wedding with Ring Leader!

You want to show off your ring to everyone you know, near and far. But should you travel with your engagement ring?

It might be one of the most special (and most expensive) things you own — your engagement ring. You’ve been staring at it non-stop ever since it was slipped on your finger, so of course you’ll want to show it off to everyone you know!

Well, not so fast. You don’t want it to leave your finger, but you also don’t want anything to happen to it.

There are lots of mishaps that can happen while traveling, both in transit and at your destination. Ultimately, you’ll need to decide whether traveling with your engagement ring is worth it.

• MORE: How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?

Damage

Damage is something to keep in mind not only if you’re planning on an active vacation, but also for the journey itself. If you’re recently engaged, you may not be used to wearing your ring yet. That can mean you unintentionally bump it against something or snag it somewhere.

You’ll also want to think about what you’ll be doing on your trip. If your itinerary includes scuba diving, parasailing, and rock climbing, you may not want your engagement ring along for the ride. If you have a super low-key vacation planned, you may not need to leave it behind. 

 

Loss

Remember that time you took your ring off to wash your hands, then couldn’t find it for 20 minutes? Yeah, you don’t EVER want to repeat that again.

If you’re at home, chances are your ring will reappear at some point. But if you’re out of town…well, we don’t even like to think about it. 

You know yourself. If you tend to lose track of things, it may be a good idea to leave your ring at home. If your ring stays on 24/7,  you won’t really have to worry about loss.

• MORE: 7 Long Island Engagement Party Ideas That Will Wow Your Guests

Theft

Unfortunately there are some not-so-nice people in the world, and in certain tourist destinations, a big shiny ring can make you a target for theft.

That’s not to say that theft can’t happen anywhere — it definitely can, even in your own neighborhood. Think about where you’re traveling and the general safety level there. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable walking around at night, leave your ring at home. If you’ve been to your destination a million times and it feels like a second home, you may choose to keep it on. 

Tips for traveling with your engagement ring

If you decide to jet off with your ring in tow, there are a few ways you can ensure it stays safe.

• Wear it discreetly and strategically. Never wear your ring while swimming, hiking, surfing, or doing any activity where it could get damaged. If you’re in an area where you feel unsafe, turn your ring around so the stone doesn’t show or tuck it into your pocket. You can also choose to store your ring in a hotel safe.
• Get your ring insured and inspected before your trip. If a prong is loose or a stone is missing you’ll want to address that before you take off. Insurance will cover you if the unthinkable happens!
•  Purchase a fake engagement ring or a silicone band. Trust us — a lost $15 Amazon purchase won’t cause nearly as many tears as a lost engagement ring.

Traveling with your engagement ring is a personal decision. Weigh the pros and cons of both options, and do what feels right for you!

• MORE: Plan your wedding with Ring Leader

The BOLI preferred venues are great for any of your wedding celebrations.

There are so many restaurants and venues on Long Island that could host any of your wedding celebrations. But how can you tell which one will be the best for you? Well, look no further than some of the best bridal shower, rehearsal and bachelorette locations for Long Island weddings. These Brides of Long Island Preferred Vendors will treat you with extra special care and make sure you have the best celebrations for your big day.

ITA Kitchen
Bay Shore, East Moriches, Patchogue and Garden City
What does ITA stand for? Italian American! At any ITA location, they work with you to create a catering menu that is exactly what you’re looking for. They take pride in not just incredible food, but a wonderful experience.

Post Office Café
Babylon
As part of the Lessing’s Hospitality Group, you know your event will be in good hands at Post Office Café. Thanks to their delicious fare and fun cocktails, this downtown Babylon venue could be the perfect place for your shower, rehearsal dinner or engagement party.

Library Café
Farmingdale
Located in the heart of downtown Farmingdale, Library Café has a sophisticated yet casual atmosphere. Also part of the Lessing’s Hospitality Group, brides and grooms are treated with unique and personalized experiences.

Sandbar
Cold Spring Harbor
Craving seafood? Head to Sandbar in the heart of Cold Spring Harbor. It features a “polished coastal-casual” ambiance that creates a sleek backdrop for elaborate American cuisine. Seasonal ingredients are featured alongside year-round edibles that are perfect for any wedding event.

Mirabelle Restaurant & Tavern
Stony Brook
Mirabelle Restaurant & Tavern is located in the heart of Stony Brook, and is part of the Three Village Inn. Enjoy your shower or engagement party overlooking Stony Brook Harbor, tasting their French bistro cuisine and American comfort food.

View
Oakdale
View offers a refined yet relaxing setting with beautiful waterfront views and award-winning food. Host your intimate wedding event with a customized menu and breathtaking landscapes.

Insignia
Smithtown
This steakhouse-turned-wedding venue can accommodate up to 300 guests. It offers indoor and outdoor spaces for any type of event, from rehearsal dinners to showers and more. Insignia combines the feel of a Hamptons-style mansion with an upscale Manhattan restaurant for a unique wedding vibe. Menus range from prime-aged steaks to fresh seafood and sushi.

Opus Steakhouse
Jericho
This re-imagined North Shore mansion can be yours for your wedding event! It offers dramatic spaces offering lush gardens, a suspended wine loft and an open kitchen. To say Opus is unique is an understatement, and it’s sure to wow your guests with its delicious menu and breathtaking views.

Camp No Counselors
Go back to summer camp – but add some adult activities. Think DJ, live bands, foam parties and so much more! And it’s all inclusive – including the adult beverages. This is one weekend with your besties that you won’t forget.

MORE: Learn about Camp No Counselors

Goldy’s Gems
Bay Shore
This timeless Bay Shore bar offers a cozy bar atmosphere with a killer house cocktail list. Goldy’s Gems brings people together to celebrate anything and everything – it’s the perfect space for intimate celebrations, showers, bachelorette parties or an after party you’ll never forget.

AR Workshop Patchogue
Patchogue
Why not get creative for your shower or bachelorette party? At AR Workshop in Patchogue, there is a broad selection of projects and designs to fit your décor style. Its relaxed atmosphere is the perfect place to celebrate your upcoming nuptials.

MORE: Unique Bridal Shower or YOUR Long Island Bachelorette Party? Both – at AR Workshop Patchogue!

Heather Jean Photography
Heather is a full-time photographer, mom and caffeine enthusiast. And she can’t wait to capture your wedding events. Her experience shooting smaller weddings makes her the perfect photographer to capture all of your celebrations – showers, rehearsal dinners and more.

One10
Melville
This restaurant space is designed in a modern, chic style, with plenty of natural light and warm wooden flooring. In addition to hosting wedding celebrations, it also operates as an Italian steakhouse that can host your wedding events.

Rare650
Syosset
Rare, indeed. This modern restaurant offers a unique dining experience with several event spaces to choose from for your wedding festivities. From the main dining room with a floor-to-ceiling wine room to a conservatory offering a bright and airy space for guests, Rare650 is the perfect venue to customize your perfect shower or rehearsal dinner.

The Halston
Melville
The Halston features exciting cuisine, delicious wines and signature cocktails that are perfect for your shower, rehearsal dinner or any other wedding event. It features indoor and outdoor spaces for any time of year, with unique spots for photo opportunities.

Blackstone Steakhouse
Melville
The restaurant space offers a modern, chic style, with plenty of natural light and warm wooden flooring. Blackstone’s incredible décor sets the scene and mood for an unforgettable event, featuring warmly glowing chandeliers and fireplaces, as well as remarkable service.

Coastal Creative Studios
Huntington Bay
Coastal Creative Studios can be yours for wedding day prep, as an inspiring backdrop for your wedding photos or even for other events such as your bridal shower. It features stunning views of Huntington Harbor and is conveniently located across from Harbor Club at Prime.

MORE: Elevate Your Wedding Day Preparations at Coastal Creative Studios

The Sofo Spoon
Islandia
The Sofo Spoon is a full-service private chef and event production company. Its team of chefs and hospitality professionals are passionate and are waiting to curate your vision for the perfect wedding event. Brides love their bachelorette weekend packages, bridal shower brunches and bridesmaid proposal dinners.

Verde Kitchen and Cocktails

Located in vibrant downtown Bay Shore, Verde is the perfect place for lunch, happy hour, dinner, and all your special occasions! Verde Kitchen & Cocktails has been specializing in creative Mexican food and margaritas since 2014.

No matter what Long Island wedding event you’re looking to have – from your engagement party to your rehearsal dinner – these locations are sure to leave you smiling and satisfied.