How to be a ‘Bridechilla’ for Your Bridesmaids

This article brought to you by Atlantis Banquets and Events, a Brides of Long Island Preferred Venue!

Bridezilla? No way! Be crowned a bridechilla by keeping these things in mind.

Your girls all cried tears of joy at your bridesmaid proposal brunch. And now, they can’t wait to help you plan and prep for your big day! But keep in mind something we often say at Brides of Long Island: no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. 

That’s not to say that your bridal party doesn’t care at all. Of course they do! But at the same time, their own lives and their own milestones have to take precedent over your wedding. Not accepting this early on can lead to misunderstanding, resentment, and ended friendships.

You want your girls to be excited for you, but you don’t want to be labelled a bridezilla either. Here’s how to be a ‘bridechilla’ when it comes to your bridesmaids, and still get the love and support you need. 

• MORE: Should I Fire My Bridesmaid?

Honor your bridesmaids’ personal styles

You may have your heart set on identical bridesmaid dresses, but the silhouette you want may not be the most flattering choice for your girls. Or maybe you don’t mind different dresses, but you have a ‘mood’ in mind and an extensive Pinterest board to match. 

No matter what your preference, think about your bridesmaids’ styles. You don’t have to have your punk rock bestie decked out in destroyed leather, but you should pick look that complements her. 

Think about their body shapes and skin tones too. If you’ve got a group of curvy gals with pale complexions, you might want to skip that yellow slip dress you saved. 

Consider what you’re asking them to spend

Your wedding only happens once, and you’re ready to bend the budget a bit! But it may be your cousin’s third bridesmaid shift this year, and while she’d love to celebrate your bachelorette in Nashville, she doesn’t have much discretionary income left. 

Lavish bachelorettes, grandiose bridal showers, and requiring professional hair and makeup without offering to cover it can really add up. Think about the aspects that mean the most to you, then try to cut back on some of the other elements. For example — if you’re the most excited about your bachelorette but trust your girls with a curling iron, think about making hair and makeup optional.  

Think about their schedules

If you’ve filled up months of weekends with wedding planning fun and want your girls along for the ride, you might want to reconsider. Asking to reserve some days here and there is totally fine, especially as the big day gets closer. But wanting your bridesmaids to dedicate multiple weekends in a row strictly for your wedding may be a bit too much to ask.

You’ll also want to think about timing for your major events. For example — when trying to plan an out-of-town bachelorette, think about a month or season that would work best for the majority of your bridal party (like if most of them are teachers, plan a getaway for the summer).

Appreciate their efforts

Remember the hard work you put into your bestie’s wedding? Think about how it would have felt if she snubbed all your efforts. Your girls love you and want to celebrate you. Be sure to thank them for their care and attention — even if some things don’t go according to plan.

• MORE: Why She Shouldn’t Be a Bridesmaid

Manage your own expectations

Have champagne dreams on a beer budget? Now’s the time to face reality. You would love to be surrounded by your best friends on a yacht sailing through the French Riviera, but none of you have millions just sitting around in the bank. 

Remember — what will make this time special is being surrounded by love and support from your friends, no matter the scenery of surroundings. 

Why Ring Leader is a must for your bridal party

Ring Leader, a state-of-the-art app that makes wedding planning a breeze, allows you to anonymously poll your bridesmaids on everything from dress budget to ideal bachelorette spots. Take the guesswork out of managing your bridal party and get honest answers from your girls! 

These Nassau County bridal salons are some of the best places to buy a gown in western Long Island.

Whether you live in Nassau County or even in one of the five boroughs, there are great bridal salons just a quick drive (or train ride) away. These bridal salons are waiting for you to come in with your bride tribe or just a few friends or family members to say ‘yes to the dress.’ If you don’t know where to begin, Brides of Long Island is ready to help with these best bridal salons in Nassau County!

The Wedding Plaza
Floral Park
The Wedding Plaza staff are more than just bridal consultants, they’re an integral member of your wedding day team! Their sole focus is to get you and your spouse dressed in your best as you walk down the aisle. Yes – they not only cater to brides, bridesmaids and moms, but also grooms, dads and the entire bridal party!

MORE: What you feel when you find THE dress

The Bridal World
Freeport
This intimate bridal salon on the South Shore is described as relaxed with a homey atmosphere, which is a perfect reprieve to the hustle and bustle of wedding planning. The Bridal World has only two fitting rooms, which means you will likely have the salon to yourself as you search for your wedding gown.

Max Bridal
Syosset
With over 20 years experience, Max Bridal manager Alene is excited to help you look your best in your dream wedding dress. At your 90-minute appointments, Alene and the Max Bridal staff will take their time learning exactly what you’re looking for in a gown.

Bridal Reflections
Carle Place
The staff at family-owned Bridal Reflections is ready to welcome you to their family! For over 45 years, they have been making brides look and feel their best in their dream wedding gowns.

MORE: 6 Things to Wear When Dress Shopping

Here Comes the Bridesmaid & Mom
Bethpage
Recently renamed with mom in mind, Here Comes the Bridesmaid & Mom has been helping brides, bridesmaids and their mothers find the perfect dress since 1995. What’s unique about Here Comes the Bridesmaid is that all of their gowns are original dresses, received diirectly from the designers. If you and your bride tribe can’t make it to their shop, they have a wide selection on their website.

 And if you want to look at some great bridal salons and a little further east, here are all of the best bridal salons on Long Island. You can’t go wrong with any of our preferred vendors, so get ready to find the gown of your dreams!

You’ve got a bundle of joy on the way! But your big day is coming up. Should you postpone your wedding if you’re pregnant?

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage? Um, not exactly in that order.

Listen, it’s 2025. Many of us are living together, buying homes, and starting families before we walk down the aisle. And that’s great! There’s no timeline that every single person has to follow. 

But if you’ve been planning your big day only to be surprised by two little pink lines, you might wonder if pushing things off is the best option. Should you postpone your wedding if you’re pregnant? Just like any other decision, there are benefits and drawbacks. 

• MORE: The Best Wedding Venues in Nassau County

Consider the specifics

Obviously, a lot will depend on your specific circumstances. If you just got a positive test and your wedding is 6 weeks away, there’s probably no need to postpone (unless being pregnant really impacts your idea of an ideal wedding day — more on that below). If you’ve just found out and your wedding is 9 months away, then postponing is probably the safest option (unless you don’t mind going into labor during your first dance).

What if your wedding is 5 or 6 months away, though? You could really go either way. If that’s the case, you’ll want to think about the following.

Your ideal wedding day

You’ve been thinking about your wedding for a long time. When you envision your “perfect” day, what does it look like? Are you tasting all the sushi rolls you requested for cocktail hour, zipped up into a formfitting gown that’s already been ordered? Are you sipping your signature cocktail, living it up at an after party or toasting with your girls as you get ready? Or are you more focused on being with friends and family, dancing to a few of your favorite songs, and reveling in the joy of finally being a “Mrs.”?

There’s no right or wrong answer. But there are certain things you shouldn’t do when you’re pregnant — if your ideal day involves a lot of those things, you may want to think about postponing. 

The importance of having a wedding

How important is having a wedding to both you and your fiancé? Because in reality, all you need to do is fill out some paperwork, head to the courthouse, and boom — you’re married. No big party, fancy dress, or loud music required. 

Truthfully, life will get a lot more complicated once you’ve got a little one in the picture. You may find yourself too busy to make a wedding happen on top of caring for baby. If you’re okay with that possibility, then postponing may be a good idea. If your heart is set on a traditional wedding, you may want to carry on as scheduled.  

• MORE: 6 Tactful Ways to Say ‘No Kids at Our Wedding’

Deposits and other non-refundable payments

You may be okay with postponing until after your pregnancy, but then you think about the money you’ve spent. Many venues consider their deposits and payments to be non-refundable, and won’t carry over existing payments to a new date. That may not be the case for ALL venues, but you’ll want to check your contract and talk with venue staff to confirm.

The same goes for any other vendor you’ve hired. If you’ve made a lot of deposits already and your vendors won’t honor those payments for a postponement, that could impact your decision.

Vendor availability and guests’ schedule

You’ll also want to think about your vendor team’s availability. Chances are, you booked some of them far in advance of your original date. They may or may not be available for your postponed date. 

Your guests matter too! If there are certain people you would definitely want by your side, determine a possible postponement date and check in with them on their availability. 

• MORE: Ring Leader takes the guesswork out of planning

Being in the bridal party is a huge honor, but it’s also a huge responsibility. If you’re not able to take on the role, here’s how to decline a bridesmaid proposal.

A friend you love dearly is tying the knot, and she’s just invited you to a “picnic brunch.” Or she’s asked you over for wine with a few other gal pals. Or she’s just slid a beautiful box with a white ribbon in front of you.

A bridesmaid proposal can be an intimate moment or a lavish event, but no matter the fanfare one thing is true — your friend wants you by her side on one of the most important days of her life. And that’s a huge honor.

But at the same time, let’s be real — being a bridesmaid isn’t exactly an easy task. Depending on the bride and her wedding plans, you could be looking a quite an expensive few months (or even years). And all that free time you were counting on? Not so fast! You’ve got a bachelorette to help plan, a bridal shower to help organize, and dress shopping trips to make.

It’s not that you don’t love your friend, but you also can’t take on bridesmaid responsibilities right now. Here’s how to decline a bridesmaid proposal in a way that won’t ruin your relationship.

• MORE: Why She Shouldn’t Be a Bridesmaid

Reasons to decline a bridesmaid proposal

Did you know that the original role of a bridesmaid was to protect the bride from evil spirits? While you won’t have to fight off any demons, you will be expected to do a lot in the months leading up to your friend’s big day. 

There are things that can get in the way of those tasks, and money is one of the biggest factors. Bridesmaid dresses aren’t cheap, you can’t afford a cross-country flight for the bachelorette, and chipping in for a bridal shower is going throw your budget way off balance.

Time is another common issue. Whether you work odd hours, you’re finishing up your degree, or you’ve got 2 littles under the age of 2, bridesmaid commitments can time away from your family and other pursuits.

Major life events also come into play. Maybe you’re due with your first baby a few weeks before the big day, maybe you’re busy planning your own wedding, or maybe you’re getting ready to start a demanding job. You’d end up having to skip a lot of the bridesmaid events anyway, which could harbor some bad blood between the two of you. 

And not to sound harsh, but it’s also possible you don’t feel as close to the bride-to-be as she does to you. You may have been best friends in college, but you’ve drifted a part over the years and don’t have the same relationship as before. It may be hard to justify taking on such an important role in her wedding when the feeling isn’t mutual.

Finally, maybe you just don’t want to be in the bridal party. You love your friend dearly, but being a bridesmaid just…isn’t your thing.

All of these are valid reasons to decline a bridesmaid proposal. 

• MORE: Do I Have to Make My Sister My Maid of Honor?

How to decline a bridesmaid proposal

We don’t have to tell you that saying “no” to a bridesmaid proposal has the potential to be super awkward (not to mention friendship-ruining). It’s much better to decline now than accept and cause friction later, but you should still handle the situation with empathy and care. 

First, don’t decline the proposal right away — especially if you’re a part of a public event, like a group brunch or picnic. You don’t want to say “yes” if you don’t really mean it, so instead tell the bride-to-be that you’re so honored she asked.

If you’ve been asked one-on-one, you can still express your gratitude for being included and then request a few days to think it over. It’s important to take some time and put together your thoughts in a respectful way.

When you’re ready to break the news, ask to chat in person or over the phone. Don’t rely on text or email, where your tone can be misinterpreted easily. 

First, tell her again that you’re honored she asked. Then, follow up with your decline. If you’ve got a super specific reason, like you’re having a baby around the same time or you’re moving away for a new job, you can mention it here. If the reasons are more emotional or sensitive, keep it vague — you can say you’re declining for “personal reasons” or because you can’t devote the time required. Lastly, offer to help the bride in some other way that’s more manageable for you. Maybe that means doing a reading for the ceremony, or jotting down a thank you list at the bridal shower, or helping her bring decorations to the venue. 

Here’s an example of what to say:

Thank you so much for asking me to be a bridesmaid. It would be such an honor to stand by you on your wedding day. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to accept for personal reasons that would keep me from being there for you fully. I hope you understand, and I would love to help you in another way. Can I help with your decor?

• MORE: Ways to Handle Bridal Party Tension

What happens after you decline a bridesmaid proposal

Your friend may be hurt, and that’s understandable. But ultimately, it’s better to say “no” to being a bridesmaid if your heart isn’t really into it. Forcing yourself to be in the bridal party when you don’t really want to could end in resentment on both sides. Honesty and transparency is always the best policy, as long as it’s done with careful thought. Your relationship will be the better for it. 

• MORE: Ring Leader gets your bridal party on the same page, without the awkward convos

The pair started dating in 2022 while working on her album.

Disney Channel alum and musician Demi Lovato married singer-songwriter Jordan “Jutes” Lutes Memorial Day weekend in California.

The pair met in the studio in 2022 while working on her album. Lutes proposed in December 2023. They said “I do” at an estate in Santa Barbara on May 25. “The location is so beautiful. It features rolling greens and has an amazing view of the ocean,” Lovato told Vogue. The couple worked with celebrity event planner Mindy Weiss to create their dream wedding weekend.

MORE: 46 Great Long Island Wedding Venues

According to Vogue, the weekend kicked off on Saturday night with a rehearsal and dinner at Arnoldi’s Café. Lovato wore a strapless Monique Lhuillier dress. The next day, Lovato and Lutes said their vows in front of 135 of their friends and family. She wore a pearl white Vivienne Westwood dress, with a corset and dramatic draped neckline. “I’ve been a fan of Vivienne Westwood for so long,” Demi told Vogue. “I love the way that they designed the dress, it feels perfect and makes me feel so confident in my body.” Lutes wore Saint Laurent for the ceremony.

MORE: 6 of the Most Popular Wedding Dress Silhouettes – Which One Should You Choose?

After the ceremony, the newlyweds took a moment for themselves – as most couples do. For the reception, Lovato changed into an ivory silk satin column dress with a draped corset top – also by Vivienne Westwood. For their first dance, Johnny Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls performed “Iris.”

For the after-party, the bride changed again into a custom Lapointe suit and Jimmy Choo heels, followed by a short off-the-shoulder send-off look custom-made by Idan Cohen with Gianvito Rossi heels, according to Vogue. They danced with their guests until the wee hours of the night, and eventually sped off in a vintage white Cadillac to begin the next chapter in their lives.

The May 25th incident left Brooke Skrocki with life-altering injuries. A fundraiser was established by her family.

A Hamptons boat crash has left a mom and Bride of Long Island critically injured. 

On May 25, BOLI Brooke Skrocki, her fiancé, and their two young daughters were onboard a fishing boat that crashed into the Shinnecock Canal jetty. While Skrocki’s daughters Emma, 6, and Ava, 2, were not harmed, Skrocki was left with severe injuries and faces a long road to recovery.

“She’s looking at a year of intensive rehabilitation and will require considerable support,” Skrocki’s aunt, Melissa Barravecchio, said in a GoFundMe she established for her niece. “Brooke’s progress…has taken some steps backward but the family is holding strong that she will continue to fight. We need all the prayers we can get to help send Brooke the strength she needs to heal.”

Skrocki is described as “the sweetest soul and the best mom” by friend Alexa Licciardi. Similar sentiments were shared across social media as those in her circle learned of the accident. 

“Skrocki was a huge part of my childhood,” said Riley Werner in a Facebook post. “She feels like a bonus sister to me. Anyone that knows her knows she lights up any room she’s in.”

In addition to Barravecchio’s GoFundMe campaign, Skrocki’s cousin Kristina Gries has started a Giveinkind fundraiser to support Emma and Ava during their mother’s recovery.

To make a contribution towards Skrocki’s recovery, click here.

To make a contribution towards Skrocki’s daughters, click here.

Saying “I do” on Long Island? Check out the best wedding venues in Nassau County!

Choosing the right wedding venue is almost as important as choosing the right fiancé!

All kidding aside — your venue sets the stage for your perfect wedding day. Whether your want a sleek and sophisticated affair or a cozy boho get-together, your venue provides the framework for everything that happens. 

Nassau County is home to some of the most beautiful wedding venues on Long Island. If you’re walking down the aisle between New Hyde Park and Oyster Bay, check out these best wedding venues in Nassau County! 

• MORE: Great Long Island Wedding Venues

Westbury Manor
Westbury

Westbury Manor is home to 5 acres of lush landscapes and beautiful greenery. Inside you’ll find a stunning ballrooms, Gold Coast architecture, and cocktail spaces that can fit up to 300 guests. 

• MORE: Brides are Treated Like Part of the Family at Westbury Manor

The Inn at New Hyde Park
New Hyde Park

Established in 1938, this Long Island landmark can host anywhere from 10 to 500 of your closest friends and family. The Inn has a staff of event planners and culinary experts — all with a combined 200 years of experience! 

The Lannin
East Meadow

Located inside Eisenhower Park, this fully renovated venue can customize the luxury wedding of your dreams. The Lannin is surrounded by lush scenery and offers a modern look, an award-winning chef, and a staff of passionate professionals.

• MORE: Customize the Luxury Wedding of Your Dreams at The Lannin  

Fox Hollow
Woodbury

If you’re looking for endless options, Fox Hollow is your venue! From on-site ceremonies, outdoor gardens, multiple reception rooms and even a luxury hotel, Fox Hollow has everything to offer brides of Long Island. 

Opus Steakhouse
Jericho

Opus is more than just a steakhouse — it’s a re-imagined North Shore mansion! There’s dramatic spaces, lush gardens, and even a suspended wine loft for a truly unique photo op. Impress up to 225 guests at Opus!

Heritage Club at Bethpage
Farmingdale

Did you know that the Heritage Club at Bethpage hosted the 2021 Brides of Long Island Summer Soirée? Offering the finest service and cuisine, The Heritage Club at Bethpage has grand chandeliers, beautiful wooden floors, and a charming gazebo with the Bethpage Black golf course as your backdrop. 

The Mansion at Oyster Bay
Woodbury

A ‘Great Gatsby’ feel awaits you at The Mansion at Oyster Bay! A roaring fireplace, marble floors, a grand staircase, and a beautiful outdoor patio will graciously host up to 500 guests. 

The Barn at Old Bethpage Restoration Village
Old Bethpage

With over 8,000-square-feet of indoor and outdoor spaces, The Barn at Old Bethpage blends rustic comforts with modern charm. Up to 300 of your guests can enjoy architectural details like high ceilings with exposed wooden beams, country fields, and an authentic farmhouse.

Swan Club on the Harbor
Roslyn

Breathtaking views and impeccable landscapes make Swan Club on the Harbor a truly unique venue. This Gold Coast-era estate dates back to the 1600s, and a recent restoration has combined old world charm with modern luxury. 

• MORE: Celebrate Your Day in Gold Coast Perfection at Swan Club on the Harbor

The Mansion at Woodside Club
Muttontown

Elegant. Charming. Luxurious. Just a few of the words that describe The Mansion at Woodside Club — a one-of-a-kind property that boasts beautiful indoor and outdoor spaces. Enjoy an open-plan ballroom and a staff of seasoned professionals!

Pine Hollow Club
East Norwich

Pine Hollow Club is a perfect blend of old world charm and modern sophistication. This private club features historic architecture, multiple ballrooms, and plenty of gorgeous outdoor gardens.

• MORE: Enjoy Premier Long Island venue Pine Hollow Club — All to Yourself

Bayview on the Water
Freeport

Bayview on the Water is nestled in Freeport’s iconic Nautical Mile, featuring three levels of panoramic bay views. Entertain up to 300 guests for your formal wedding or 400 for your cocktail affair! 

Rare650
Syosset

For brides that want a unique dining experience with a modern flare, Rare650 is the ideal venue. With several event spaces, a floor-to-ceiling wine room, and a brightly-lit conservatory, Rare650 adds a touch of sophistication to your wedding. 

Riviera Waterfront Mansion
Massapequa

Say your vows on the water! Featuring stunning views and rustic indoor spaces, Riviera Waterfront Mansion offers the best of Long Island’s breathtaking scenery. Perfect for brides looking for a waterfront locale. 

The Royalton Mansion
Roslyn Heights

Tucked away in Roslyn Heights, this colonial estate features 10 acres of stunning greenery and English gardens. The Royalton mansion transports your guests to a time of luxury and opulence.

• MORE: Find great venues on Ring Leader!

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Briana and Brittany about which vendors went above and beyond to make their wedding day special.

Briana and Brittany knew some of the vendors they wanted for their Oct. 6, 2024 wedding – even before they got engaged. They never could have imagined just how magical their day would turn out, thanks in part to their venue, photographer and videographer.

A Blossoming Friendship

Briana and Brittany have been friends since the ninth grade. “It wasn’t romantic at all at first,” says Briana. “After college, though, things started shifting.” Brittany says she was the one who developed deeper feelings for her friend first. “I was worried it would change our dynamic because we were such close friends,” she explains. Once she let Briana know her feelings, Brittany was happy she took that chance. The pair dated for about four years before they got engaged. “We moved in together, and knew we were going to get married,” says Brittany. So, they made a pact at the beginning of 2022, they were both going to propose to each other, but they were going to keep the details and the date of the proposal a surprise from each other.

Brittany proposed to Briana first in August of 2022 at a water lantern festival. Briana proposed the following month at a botanical garden. And yes, Briana had the date planned before Brittany proposed. “I had the date picked out for a while, as it was close to the anniversary of one of the first concerts we went to as a couple,” explains Briana.

Planning Prep

Once Brittany proposed in August, the couple started putting together a list of vendors they were interested in. In fact, they had been looking into their videographer, Catherine J Films, before they were even engaged. “We had seen her work at our friends’ wedding,” says Briana. “So I bookmarked her Instagram for when we were ready.” 

They started seriously looking at vendors by November of 2022. “Briana had a spreadsheet and kept us on track with our planning process,” says Brittany. “She also used the Brides of Long Island Facebook group for everything! From things like putting together a planning timeline to putting together our wedding day timeline, it was so helpful!”

While photography and videography were most important for the women, they both wanted the perfect venue as well. Finding one was challenging, as they each had different visions for their wedding day. “I’d be happy getting married in a barn,” says Brittany. “And Briana was looking for something very modern.” 

They scoured over tons of Long Island venue reviews, and then fell in love with the Watermill – a BOLI Preferred Vendor. “That was the best decision we made, hands down,” says Brittany. They loved the Watermill’s outdoor spaces and menu variety, but what really sealed the deal were their suites. “A lot of the venues we looked at had bridal suites and groom’s suites, and some of the groom’s suites were sort of masculine,” says Brittany. “As two brides getting married, we didn’t want to have to choose who would go to the groom’s suite. At the Watermill, both spaces were very gender neutral, so that made us feel comfortable.”

MORE: 46 Great Long Island Wedding Venues

A Cut Above the Rest

The beautiful venue and delicious food were not the only things that stood out at the Watermill. “Rob, our contact at the Watermill, was truly amazing,” says Brittany. “He was in constant communication with us. Any time we had a question, he would get back to us right away.” And if the pair hit a roadblock with anything – from choosing a DJ to figuring out logistics as a same-sex couple – Rob had an answer. “If we had something we needed to figure out, we’d contact Rob right away,” says Briana. “And he would always be polite and ask us what we wanted so that he could make it happen.” He would even offer up tips and suggestions from previous same-sex Watemill couples. “He was such an important part of making our day special,” says Briana.

Another vendor that made their day special? Their photographer, Photo by Lore. Briana says that when they booked Lore, she was relatively new at photographing weddings. “We took a chance on her because we felt we clicked after speaking with her,” she says. What really stood out to them was when Lore asked to go to their final appointment at the Watermill so she could check out the space ahead of time. “We walked around with her as she made suggestions of where she thought the first looks should be, where photos with our family should be, etc.” says Brittany. “That put us at ease and made the day much smoother, since we knew ahead of time where we needed to be.”

And who can forget the videographer Brittany and Briana found even before they were engaged? Catherine was fantastic. “I would book her a million times over,” says Briana. They both felt from the first conversation with Catherine that they knew her forever. Doing a pre-wedding shoot helped them get comfortable being filmed. “She had us walk around a park and just talk about ourselves,” says Briana. “And then she incorporated some of that into our wedding video. And it’s just beautiful! I watch it at least once a week!”

MORE: 10 Unique First Look Ideas

Personalized Touches and Moments

The general theme of their wedding was “garden celestial,” says Brittany with a laugh. “I’m a big flower girl, and Briana loves the moon and stars, so we ran with both of those.” They did several DIY projects for their signs, as well as their centerpieces. “We just wanted to make sure it featured us as a couple,” says Briana. 

As a treat for their guests, Briana’s father provided them with a Frito-Lay chips exit station. “It was a huge hit,” says Briana. “Everyone was leaving with their arms full of chip bags. And we loved how unique it was!”

Brittany’s favorite moment of the day was their first look. “Briana and I always do fashion checks with our outfits! So choosing a wedding gown without her help was so difficult,” she says. The pair made it a point to not share details of their gowns until their first look. “It was the longest and only secret we’ve kept from each other, and it was such a special moment,” she says.

For Briana, her favorite moment was the quiet in the bridal suite between their cocktail hour and reception. “It was great to sit together and really take in what the day was about,” she says.

MORE: 9 Wedding DIY Ideas That Any BOLI Can Tackle

Do What Makes Sense For You

Both Brittany and Briana want other brides to know that it’s important that your wedding day is about you and your future spouse. “As a same-sex couple, it was hard to figure out who to set up our day, because the industry can still be somewhat traditional,” says Briana. “But it was important for us to break that mindset and do what made sense for us.” They add that whether couples are same-sex or not, it’s important they also do what makes sense for them and what they want on their wedding day. “If we weren’t completely happy with something, we kept looking for what would make us happy – even if that meant making things ourselves!” says Briana.

“There is no one correct way to plan your wedding,” Brittany adds. “Figure out what you want to happen, and then lean into that and feel empowered to make your own decisions.”

Vendors:
Venue: Watermill Caterers, a BOLI Preferred Vendor
Photographer: Photo by Lore
Videography: Catherine J Films
DJ: In the Mood DJ Production
Florist: Towers Flowers Nesconset
Hair/Makeup: Bridal Rush, a BOLI Preferred Vendor
Dress: Northfork Bridal Shoppe, a BOLI Preferred Vendor
Cake: Campbell’s Bakery, a BOLI Preferred Vendor,
Bridal Party Tuxedos: The Black Tux
Transportation: Camelot Limos
Hotel Room Block: Hyatt Regency Long Island, a BOLI Preferred Vendor

Long Island has some amazing wedding venues. Book a tour for these must-see locations.

You’re just engaged, and you have no idea where to start! There are hundreds of venues across the Island – everything from small restaurants to venues with a water view to actual castles. The possibilities are endless. Well, BOLI is here to help!

But why not book tours at some of Long Island’s great wedding venues? Here are 46 great Long Island wedding venues that are not only preferred venues of the BOLI family, but are bound to have something to make one of the most important days of your life the best day ever!

Westbury Manor
Westbury
Westbury Manor’s lush landscape is the perfect backdrop for your wedding. Set upon 5 acres, this mansion has several ballrooms and cocktail rooms to fit up to 300 guests.

MORE: “We Make Our Home Your Home.” Brides Are Treated Like Part of the Family at Westbury Manor

The Crescent Beach Club
Bayville
Imagine saying “I do” at sunset on a white sand beach, surrounded by palm trees with the blue water behind you. Well, you don’t have to travel off Long Island to do it! The Crescent Beach Club is on the beautiful Long Island Sound that gives couples a plethora of choices when it comes to photos and beyond. Its cocktail hour features steel pan drums, and its ballroom features floor-to-ceiling windows for breathtaking views of the beach and water at any time of day or night. And you can keep the party going on the beach after the reception with tiki torches and fire pits. The beach club’s capacity is 425.

MORE: The Crescent Beach Club Offers Paradise in Your Own Backyard 

Sunset Harbour
East Patchogue
Located in its own marina, tucked away along the Great South Bay, Sunset Harbour has been family owned and operated for the past 25 years. The marina offers stunning views of the water and makes for great sunset photos. It can accommodate up to 250 guests.

Swan Lake Caterers
Manorville
This recently renovated boutique-style venue is located on the greens of Swan Lake Golf Course. It features a rustic indoor look with wine barrels, barn doors and lanterns.

The Meadow Club
Port Jefferson Station
This recently renovated property boasts crystal chandeliers and perfectly manicured gardens. The Meadow Club hosts one wedding at a time, and offers various packages that fit every budget and wedding party size!

The Inn at New Hyde Park
New Hyde Park
This Long Island landmark was established in 1938. Its staff of event planners, management and culinary artists have a combined 200 years experience! The Inn can accommodate from 10-500 of your guests.

The Old Field Club
East Setauket
The Old Field Club offers waterfront views along the north shore with rustic yet elegant charm. On the smaller side, this intimate venue can accommodate up to 180 guests.

The Lannin
East Meadow
This fully renovated venue is in the heart of Long Island, located inside Eisenhower Park golf course. If you’re looking to customize the luxury wedding of your dreams, the Lannin is the perfect place for you. From its modern classic look to its award-winning chef, the Lannin is surrounded by lush scenery for a wedding your guests will talk about for years to come.

MORE: Customize the Luxury Wedding of Your Dreams at The Lannin

The Piermont
Babylon
Nestled on the Great South Bay, this waterfront venue features floor-to-ceiling windows for your guests to enjoy beautiful sunsets and amazing water views. Couples can choose between indoor or outdoor ceremonies. The menus feature locally sourced products and American classics.

Fox Hollow
Woodbury
This state-of-the-art venue is located on Long Island’s Gold Coast, and gives couples plenty of options, including three different rooms to accommodate any size wedding party from 50-285 guests! It has several options for an on-site ceremony, including an outdoor garden. And it has an on-site hotel for couples to turn a wedding day into a wedding weekend! A truly full-service venue, Fox Hollow is sure to have something for every bride.

Watermill Caterers
Smithtown
Located in the heart of Suffolk County, this hidden gem features a sprawling estate, manicured landscapes, winding pathways and historic architecture. Your wedding will have old-world charm with luxurious modern comforts. It can accommodate up to 350 guests.

Insignia
Smithtown
This steakhouse-turned wedding venue can accommodate up to 300 guests. It offers indoor and outdoor spaces for a ceremony. Insignia combines the feel of a Hamptons-style mansion with an upscale Manhattan restaurant for a unique wedding. Menus range from prime-age steaks to fresh seafood and sushi.

Opus Steakhouse
Jericho
This re-imagined north shore mansion can be yours for your wedding day! It offers dramatic spaces offering endless views of lush gardens, a suspended wine loft and an open kitchen. To say Opus is unique is an understatement, and it’s sure to wow your up to 225 guests.

360 East at Montauk Downs
Montauk
Head to The End to celebrate your wedding day in the charm of a beach town with an elegant setting. Wow your guests, which can be up to 200, with views of Montauk. As a bonus, say your vows with the Montauk Lighthouse as your backdrop!

Heritage Club at Bethpage
Bethpage
The Heritage Club at Bethpage combines the richness of Long Island’s Heritage with the finest service and cuisine. Say your vows in a room with a grand chandelier on beautiful wooden floors, or outside in a charming gazebo with the Bethpage Black course as your backdrop. The ballroom offers floor to ceiling windows overlooking 1,500 acres of rolling greens. It can accommodate up to 500 guests.

The Mansion at Oyster Bay
Woodbury
Have your wedding with an authentic Gatsby era flare with modern accents and amenities. Your breath will be taken away by just the foyer alone with a roaring fireplace amid marble floors and a grand staircase. The ballroom features an outdoor patio allowing for an indoor/outdoor cocktail hour. It can accommodate up to 500 guests.

The Vineyards at Aquebogue
Aquebogue
The Vineyards has a rustic, farmhouse feel with enchanting gardens and, obviously, authentic vineyards. With a guest capacity of 300, this venue can host your ceremony, inside or outside, and reception. The cocktail hour can include a farm-to-table station with bison and flounder sliders, North Fork oyster chowder, salads and so much more. It offers a variety of enhancement packages, as well as all-inclusive packages for Saturday or Sunday day weddings.

Chateau at Coindre Hall
Huntington
With the Huntington Harbor as a backdrop, this mansion is both timeless and historic. Couples can exchange vows in the garden or the ballroom. And the photo opportunities are endless with a courtyard with vine-covered columns, a spiral staircase and six fireplaces. Coindre Hall can hold up to 200 guests for a night full of historic and elegant memories.

Essex Club
Brentwood
This quaint country club is set among 50 acres of rolling greens and picturesque perennials. Have your ceremony at the outside gazebo or in front of a roaring fireplace inside. And then dance the night away with up to 250 guests in the grand ballroom.

Stonebridge Country Club
Smithtown
This modern-day country club overlooks a lush, green golf course and woodlands, offering plenty of photo opportunities. Stonebridge can accommodate up to 350 guests. It has an outdoor gazebo for ceremonies, and a couple options for cocktail hour.

Bourne Mansion
Oakdale
This historic Vanderbilt Museum is located on the Great South Bay with breathtaking views inside and out. The mansion features 40-foot vaulted ceilings, an elegant wooden staircase and a grand ballroom. It can hold up to 300 of your guests.

MORE: See more about what the Bourne Mansion has to offer

Estate at Three Village Inn
Stony Brook
Located in the heart of the historic town and overlooking Stony Brook Harbor, the Estate at Three Village Inn is a unique backdrop for your wedding day. Make it a full wedding weekend, with your rehearsal dinner at their Mirabelle restaurant, stay overnight in their cozy rooms or suites, and then say your vows in the garden before enjoying your reception in their ballroom, able to fit up to 250 guests.

Mansion at Timber Point
Great River
The Mansion at Timber Point is nestled along the Great South Bay, offering views of Fire Island and the rolling greens of a golf course. Inside the historic mansion offers classic country décor with a modern twist for you and your up to 250 guests.

The Mansion at West Sayville
West Sayville
The Mansion at West Sayville offers classic splendor with rustic beach charm. It features views of the Great South Bay, Fire Island and the Maritime Museum. The grand ballroom features French doors to separate the dance floor from the dining room. A perfect setting for up to 220 guests. 

Pavilion at Sunken Meadow
Kings Park
The Pavilion at Sunken Meadow is the premier location for the perfect beach wedding. It offers stretches of sand, gentle bay breezes and beautiful sunset views. It can accommodate up to 300 guests.

View
Oakdale
View offers a refined yet relaxing setting with beautiful waterfront views and award-winning food. Host your intimate wedding with up to 180 guests at the View for a customized menu and breathtaking landscapes.

East Wind Long Island
Wading River
East Wind features 26 acres on the Island’s North Shore giving brides plenty of opportunities for amazingly beautiful photos. Not only does it give you several options for your wedding – everything from an intimate garden affair to a stately ballroom – it also is home to a hotel, with several restaurants, shops and a full-service spa and salon. These amenities allow brides tons of options to get ready, a rehearsal dinner or just a day of relaxation before the big day!

MORE: With Five Different Spaces, Shoppes and More, East Wind Long Island Offers Brides Plenty of Options

The Barn at Old Bethpage Restoration
Old Bethpage
The Barn offers a rustic yet elegant venue for your wedding, with over 8,000-square-feet of indoor and outdoor event space. It fits 300 guests, and features high ceilings with exposed wooden beams. Couples can choose to have an on-site ceremony overlooking the gardens or inside the ballroom. The country fields and authentic farmhouse are sure to leave your guests impressed.

Giorgio’s Baiting Hollow
Baiting Hollow
Every wedding at Giorgio’s is personally overseen by the owners to make sure your perfect day goes smoothly. This venue is unique in its indoor/outdoor setting, with scenic views of a beautiful, rolling golf course. And who wouldn’t love a nine-station cocktail hour and a four-course entrée dinner. Giorgio’s fits up to 300 guests.

Atlantis Banquets & Events
Riverhead
When you hear Atlantis, you probably think aquarium, but why not get married there? From a small gathering of 20 guests to up to 650, you get to choose from up to nine different locations around the property to celebrate your big day. And don’t forget to inquire about taking photos with the animals!

MORE: Renovations Make Atlantis Banquet & Events the Perfect Venue for a Wedding on the Water

Swan Club on the Harbor
Roslyn
Located on the harbor, Swan Club on the Harbor offers breathtaking views and picturesque backdrops. It is located on an estate that dates back to the 1600s and features a mansion constructed by the co-founder of Con Edison. Purchased in 2018 by restaurateur brothers they restored it to its Gold Coast perfection. It can hold up to 350 guests.

MORE: Celebrate Your Day in Gold Coast Perfection at Swan Club on the Harbor

The Mansion at Woodside Club
Muttontown
This one-of-a-kind mansion property is sure to be the perfect venue to host the best day of your life. The Mansion at Woodside Club features indoor and outdoor options for your ceremony as well as an open-plan ballroom.

Pine Hollow Club
East Norwich
This private club offers a bit of old and new to make your wedding day perfect. It features historic architecture with modern finesse. Pine Hollow Club features multiple ballrooms and plenty of outdoor gardens to make your day unforgettable.

MORE: Pine Hollow Club offers beauty, sophistication, and versatility on your wedding day

Bellport Country Club
Bellport
This one-wedding venue is located in the village of Bellport and offers rolling views of the championship golf course and Great South Bay. It features an indoor-outdoor cocktail hour, and a beautiful private garden for the perfect ceremony. Customize your dream wedding at Bellport Country Club.

Villa Lombardi’s
Holbrook
For more than four decades, the Lombardi family has set the standard in Long Island hospitality. Known for its delicious Neapolitan Italian Cuisine, the Lombardis bring a little bit of timeless tradition to your wedding day.

Bayview on the Water
Freeport
Located right on the water on the beautiful Nautical Mile, Bayview on the Water offers three levels of panoramic open bay views. The brand new venue can accommodate up to 300 guests for formal affairs, and up to 400 for cocktail receptions.

One10
Melville
This restaurant space is designed in a modern, chic style, with plenty of natural light and warm wooden flooring. In addition to hosting wedding celebrations, it also operates as an Italian steakhouse.

Rare650
Syosset
Rare, indeed. This modern restaurant offers a unique dining experience with several event spaces to choose from for your wedding. From the main dining area with a floor-to-ceiling wine room to the bright and airy conservatory, Rare650 is the perfect venue to customize your perfect wedding day.

The Halston
Melville
This new addition to the Anthony Scotto family has everything you need on your wedding day. It features exciting cuisine that you can pair with perfect wines and signature cocktails. This is the perfect venue for up to 200 guests. And The Halston hosts one wedding at a time.

Blackstone Steakhouse
Melville
Just like every couple, every wedding at Blackstone is refreshingly unique and special. Offering elegant, modern décor with quarried stone, rich natural wood and warmly glowing chandeliers and fireplaces, it sets the mood for an incredible and memorable wedding day.

The Bayview House at Captain Bill’s
Bay Shore
The Bayview House is nestled off the South Shore and offers stunning views of the Great South Bay. It features shimmering chandeliers, a second floor bridal suite with a balcony overlooking the grand ballroom and cathedral windows showcasing panoramic water views. From intimate affairs to grand galas, the Bayview House is ready to host your special day.

Breeze Hill Farm
Peconic
Featuring a 75-acre orchard and an 8,500 square feet main lodge, Breeze Hill Farm offers unique and stunning orchard and beach weddings.

Soundview Caterers
Bayville
Soundview Caterers are ready to maintain their legacy of extraordinary service and culinary excellence on your wedding day. Nestled along the “Gold Coast” of Long Island’s North Shore, Soundview features spectacular views of the Long Island Sound and neighboring coastline.

Riviera Waterfront Mansion
Massapequa
At Riviera Waterfront Mansion, your guests can watch you say your vows or sip cocktails right along the water. From their stunning ballroom to its expansive cocktail hour space outside, they’re ready to plan your special day.

The Royalton on the Greens
Melville
This family-owned venue sits on top of a hill at the heart of a breathtaking golf course. Magical waterfalls will be the perfect backdrop for your wedding photos while guests enjoy beautiful views. Hidden by the gilded gates of a country club, Royalton on the Greens will feel like your own private oasis.

The Royalton Mansion
Roslyn Heights
This historic mansion with a Great Gatsby-era feel is tucked away in Roslyn Heights. The colonial estate features 10 acres of wooded arbor and English gardens, transporting your guests to a time of luxury and opulence.

Wherever you choose to have your wedding, just know that you’ll be in great hands!

Getting married is a romantic affair, but it’s also a religious and legal one. Here are answers to the most common questions about wedding ceremonies

You may be more focused on playlists, cocktail hour menus, and first dance choreography, but your ceremony is one of the most important parts of your wedding. This is the ritual that will unite you as a married couple, and it’s filled with beauty and reverence.

Your wedding ceremony is a reflection of your story, your love, and your beliefs. Most couples want to personalize this moment with elements they choose. However, some requests might mean your wedding ceremony won’t be legally or religiously valid.

Here are a few common questions that brides of Long Island ask about wedding ceremonies.

• MORE: 14 Questions to Ask When Hiring a Wedding Officiant

1. “Can priests marry outside of the church?”

This is one of the most common questions our members ask. According to the Code of Cannon Law, “marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile…with the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.”

So technically yes — priests can marry outside of the church, but permission must be granted from the local bishop. And it’s highly, highly unlikely the bishop will grant you permission unless it’s under extreme extenuating circumstances (your church has been destroyed by a natural disaster, your fiancé is seriously ill and in the hospital, etc).

This is the case if you want your wedding ceremony to be a full catholic mass, and you want to receive the sacrament of marriage. If you’re not interested in a full mass, the rules get a little grayer. Father Michael Callahan, of BOLI Preferred Vendor Interfaith Jewish Catholic Weddings, performs ceremonies along with Rabbi David Katz. 

2. “Can my friend/family member be my officiant?”

Yes! Your friend or family member can officiate your wedding by obtaining a one-day New York state authorization.

3. “How long before my ceremony do I need to get my marriage license?”

You’ll need your marriage license at least 24 hours before your ceremony. Your license will be valid for 60 days (so don’t get it more than 2 months in advance!)

4. “Do I need to get my marriage license in the same town/county where the ceremony will be?”

Nope — you can obtain your marriage license from any town or city clerk’s office in New York state. 

5. “How long should my ceremony be?”

This is totally up to you!

If you’re getting married in a church or synagouge, your ceremony length will depend on the rites and rituals that must be included for your specific religious institution. If your ceremony is non-religious, most ceremonies typically last between 20-30 minutes. But again, length is up to you! There’s no legal minimum requirement. 

6. “Do I have to include anything specific in my vows?”

Legally, the only thing you have to include in your vows is a declaration that both you and your fiancé are taking each other as spouses. 

7. “Will my ceremony be legal if just me, my fiancé, and the officiant are present?”

Unfortunately, no — you’ll need at least one witness other than your officiant that could testify in a court of law. But hey, did you know your four legged friend can be one of your witnesses?

• MORE: Reduce ceremony stress with Ring Leader